Rewrite the Rihanna Song

I had a friend look this song up for me after I could only remember a few of the notes. She's amazing, because she found it. I wrote this basically for her, because after I told her I was playing with the idea she wanted to hear it, so I sat down and wrote it. Thanks, Nu! You're awesome.

I can't come up with a title, though, so if you (the reader) think of one, please do tell me!


SCENE: A sprawling manor home, though we really only see a few rooms and a hallway. She's either minor royalty or nobility. She's tall and slender and brunette, with slightly wavy hair to her shoulder blades.

The song starts with a young woman turning a gold ring over in her hands, studying it. With the violins, she puts it in a box on her night table and stands up. Her bedroom is tastefully appointed, but as she looks around it's overlaid with a childlike vision, and a child runs into the picture, the young woman as a little girl. After the short violin passage, the girl goes out into the hallway and runs along it, playing with a dog. As the young woman goes along the hall, windows flash past on one side, shining their light in and illuminating scenes of playing, with friends, dolls, toys. At the crescendo of violins, the young woman pushes open a pair of French doors to the garden and the sunlight washes out the scene momentarily. A breeze blows up her hair and twirls leaves around, and when it dies down we see the little girl running through the garden with a butterfly net, hair tangled and giggling delightedly. At the hesitation in the music, a slightly older girl, a few years older, rides into the scene on horseback, cantering across the lawn and taking a jump, then wheeling and coming back. She slides off and runs inside. The young woman follows her in and down the hall to a door that's ajar.

At the click-clack she approaches the door and pushes it open. When the young woman looks in, she sees a vision of the girl showing something to an older woman, her mother. The woman smiles and bends down to show the girl a book. The young woman blinks and her mother's chair is empty. At the deep tones the scene changes to a view of a young teenager in a classroom working diligently amidst a pile of books with a tutor, on something technical but not clearly shown. At the gentle passage without violins, the scene shifts to show an older teenager in dancing lessons with an old man, working through steps in the middle of a ballroom. When the music swells again, she twirls into view, a year or two older and in the arms of a taller man, and at first they're both nervous and blushing. They dance around the ballroom again, this time smiling and blushing. At the cymbals, they're sitting in the garden in the moonlight, murmuring to each other. Then they're walking hand in hand through the trees.

At the second cymbals, the young woman is grown up now, getting fitted for a dress in a bustling salon, looking slender and beautiful. At the simple piano passage, we again see the young girl, sitting at a vanity mirror and playing with makeup and a tiara. She closes her eyes to apply eyeshadow. There's a pause in the music – and when she opens her eyes again she's the grown woman, at the same vanity, wearing grownup makeup and full wedding attire. An attendant is just placing a tiara and veil on her head, and she stands up. The women are smiling through their tears and the bride gives kisses before walking down the hallway to a set of double doors, leading to the chapel. She takes a deep breath and lets it out. The doors open. At the simple piano she begins to walk down the aisle, eyes on her groom. When the violins come in, he walks down the aisle to meet her. On the last five notes he tucks her hand into his elbow and smiles down at her. The song ends at this snapshot of them smiling at each other, and on the last two notes it fades to sepia-tone before fading out.

Now that you've read it, I'll give you the link to the song. Listen to the song and then read this again, following along the musical cues. Remember the two are meant to go together, and the story doesn't have the same power without the notes.

Youtube link /watch?v=8EeeUhigJSY

(If that doesn't work, search "Rihanna - Unfaithful (Instrumental Version + Lyrics)" by CoolBooy83)