When I opened my eyes darkness is all I see. Again I wake up in the middle of the night. Again I wake up screaming from the nightmares. The wretched nightmares! Night after night they haunt me. I haven't slept a full night since my wife was taken from me. Five years ago she was hit by a car. Her family and I were in the hospital every moment we possibly could. Then three days after the accident I was told we lost her.
Now every day I see her. I see her walking around the house we shared. I see her sitting and reading those romance novels she loved so much. I can hear her laughter in my head, her jingle bell laughter. The same jingle bell laughter that haunts my dreams with their sweet sound. In my nightmares I see her getting ran over again and again never being able to do anything about it. I see her beautiful green eyes piercing my soul. Begging me to help her but all I can do is scream her name as the car hits her. That blasted blood red car!
I don't even bother to look at the clock. It's not like I need to go anywhere in the morning. Now that she is gone. I have no reason to get up in the morning. I usually just stay in bed all day. I only get up to use the facilities and eat. Whenever I sit down to eat at the kitchen table I see her sitting down right across from me, putting her lovely brown hair behind her ears as I ate.
Whenever I try to go out with my friends all I can see is her. Everywhere I look I see her face. I see it in my friends and the strangers I meet. I see it in the reflection as I look down into my drink and just stare at her in silence remembering the good time we had. When I do this I feel better. Until I realize that we will never share times like this again. Never will I get to see her dazzling smile.
I'm forced to live my life know I will never again be truly happy. Never will I be as happy as I was with her. So I just live in the past, replaying my memories of her. This way I can make sure her memory was not in vain. She was my life. I lived for her and her alone. Now I no longer live. My life was taken along with hers. Now I merely move along in the riptide that used to be my life. My family said that I will eventually get over it. That will always hurt but it will get better with time. That time heals all wounds. Well time is only ripping my wound larger because unless time can bring her back to life I will never heal.
I will just continue on with my shell of a life. I will go on pretending to be happy. But it is all a lie. I just can't stand the pestering so I act happy so they leave me alone. So I can drown myself in my misery in peace.
They don't know what it is like to lose someone so close in such a stupid accident. In a way that could have been avoided if that idiot was sober! If she just waited ten seconds before she decided to walk to our car!
The man that took her life was a short, fat man. All he did was eat and drink day in and day out. I remember seeing him stumbling out of the car while I called for an ambulance. I could see all his crooked teeth while his mouth hung agape with shock. The man that took my beautiful wife from this world was only sentenced two seven years. Seven years for taking the life of another human being! Did she not deserve to live? Did she not deserve to have a happy long life? Did I not deserve to have a happy life with her?
I decide to go for a walk. I do this a lot when I wake up in the middle of the night. I throw the covers off and put my shoes on. I walk to the front door and put my jacket on and just begin walking down the street. I can barely feel the cool wind nipping at my face. It is just a reminder on how numb I've become without her in my life.
Instead of hanging out with my friends like I used to I just sit and stare at a dark TV screen. Instead of ordering from my favorite Chinese restaurant I eat frozen meals I throw in the microwave and eat alone at my kitchen table. Instead of going out there and living my life I sit and just think of the past.
I guess I should try and live my life again. My friends are right, she doesn't want me to sit and mope around the house all day. She would want me to go out and enjoy the rest of my life. At only thirty-five years old I still have a lot of life left to live and I think it's time I start to live it again.
I used to have such a fun time goofing off with my friends. We would dare each other to do the stupidest things. But then I let my wife's death get the best of me. I spiraled down to the point I am now. To the point I can barely live anymore. But I can change that. I just have to start living again. I have to let go of her memory in order to ever fully recover but not forget her.
I saw some headlight in the distance and began wondering what anyone could be out this late. I was not sure on the exact time but judging by the moon it was pretty late. As the car got closer I could see it driving at an extremely fast pace. The next thing I know the head lights are shining directly on me. I just stood there frozen with the memories that flooded my head. The last thing I heard were the screeching of tires then darkness. I began to hear laughter, a laugh that I am far too familiar with. It was a sweet jingle bell laugh.
Hope you guys enjoyed this short story. Please review and tell me how I did for my first story here.