A/N: Okay, explanation time. Basically, I write a lot of these weird, random little stories/quotes/poems/cartoons, mostly during maths classes, and they're not really long enough to put on Fictionpress and they don't make any sense. I wanted somewhere to archive them so I can delete them off my computer. I don't need any reviews for these, because nobody could ever review them positively. Flames will be used to roast tiny men over the molten fires of Maru. You might ask, if they're so crap, why am I even posting them? Because I hate deleting stuff. I keep all the stuff from when I was six and writing stories about magic goblins and imaginary doorknobs. I call these "randomettes".

So, yeah.

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Randomette 1: Chilli Chicken Ramen

Once, I had just stopped for a chat with a talking hexagon when I was carried away by unicorns with golden wings. They flew me to their leader, Chilli Chicken Ramen, who was a seven-foot high radiator with the ability to shoot marmalade from his lungs. He looked me over and declared me a disgrace to alienkind and all that is strange and wonderful. "The magnificent in life must be preserved," he decreed, "not poisoned by inbreeds such as you!" And forthwith, he ordered me to go away and live as a tiny algae amoeba for the rest of my days, until I had absorbed a sense of the transcendent ebb and flow of life and experienced a gutwrenching epiphany. He told his smurf minions to drag me there, but I fooled them by wearing a wig and laughing in a foreign accent, and I escaped. Nowadays I do my best to see and nurture all that is peculiar, and allow the randomness in the everyday world to flow free and wild like a piece of broccoli with no trousers on.