Sitting in Your Shadow

The lines in my head, the words that come out of my mouth only when you are around, that's all you know of me. All you hear is the white noise that comes from a girl in love- the joy and bliss and happiness. Because somehow you make me happy and sad.

These crystal blue eyes in my head see so much more than you know. The sadness you sometimes catch lingering in them is something you brought with you when you came here. I don't see just a friend when I look at you. I see someone who is beautiful. Amazing. Perfect. I see your flaws and I want to heal them. I see your love and I want you to shower me in it. But it isn't mine.

Your voice, your kiss, your breath, belongs to another who is more deserving than me. One more worthy of you love should be the one receiving it right? And though I've seen her face just once, your face next to hers was so full of wonder, so wrapped in overwhelming bliss, that I can't help but smile- can't help but wish you the best. But the way you smell, the way for feel- you still intoxicate me. I want you. So hard, so bad, so so much. But you will never be mine.

You say you will never hurt me, and I know you mean that. You don't realize how much hurt you but into my heart every day. You don't try to, you can't even help it. I can't reach out and you can't move back. You never meant to hurt me, but the problem is you might break me if I give you the drop of information you seek.

Everyone around me seems to see the way I do. They whisper coded conversations behind my back, but I hear them. I understand them. And the ache in my chest grows stronger, building into a thunder in my heart. Sometimes they don't even bother to hide their thoughts the way I have to every day. Does that make you the only one who doesn't see things truly? Or does that make the rest of us foolish children stranded in the cold?