i am golden

watching, waiting, chest

rises and falls from the

highest seat in the house.

when i am cradled in

silk and satin it's like

the sun and the moon

are mine-and yet the

ocean in my heart

is not soothed.

.

fate is not my friend tonight

not when they're howling

howling for my blood.

death and romance go

hand in hand, they say, but

if that is true, what is this trembling

in my legs?

i write letter after letter rich with apologies

to my beautiful mother, paint my face on

every morning.

i am still golden

and i am still waiting.