8.5.12

She didn't even know how she had managed it, getting away from the group. There were enough counselors around, though they had probably been busy trying to keep various people from sneaking off. No one noticed her anyway, and she knew she wouldn't be missed until role call on the bus, at which point they'd probably just assume she had spoken too quietly to be heard.

Now, though, she sat on the corner of the bench, huddled in her poncho to avoid the rain. She smiled, head hidden by her knees, as she heard a particularly loud roll of thunder. She was crying, though anyone who bothered to look would dismiss it as rain, dripping from her still-wet hair.

As she heard the rain turn to hail, she sat up, swinging her feet off the bench and standing. Walking into the hail, she smiled again and wiped her tears away, laughing a bit at her fruitless efforts to dry her face in the hail. Looking around, she nodded and started walking to the lake, stopping close enough that the white-capped waves could brush her legs. She sat. What would happen if she started swimming and stayed in the lake until she drowned from the effort of staying above the waves? She had hear that death by drowning was particularly harsh, but she wouldn't mind the sensation of water slowly filling her lungs as she coughed. Or would she?

She started swimming out into the deeper water, until the water reached her shoulders when she stood flat footed on the bottom of the lake. The storm was calming now, but she continued swimming out for another couple of minutes, until the storm had cleared enough that she started worrying about people on the shore seeing her. Frowning, she turned back, moving quickly towards the shore.

She shivered as she climbed out of the water, realizing she was still wearing her shoes and clothes. She laughed at herself and her stupidity in thinking she could ever kill herself, and walked back to the group, sitting against a pole at the edge of the tent. If asked, she could always say she was just wet from sitting next to the storm. But then, no one would ever ask.