3 Men: same person who wrote Nick: NOT ME!

Once upon a time, there were three men: Manners, Shut Up, and Crap. So one day, Shut Up was driving, while Manners and Shut Up were in the backseat. Crap rolled down the window, stuck his head out, and fell.

"Shut Up said to Manners, "Manners, go help Crap." While he was waiting, a police officer pulled up with a ticket in his hand.

"Sir, what's your name?"

"Shut Up."

"Excuse me? What is your name?"

"Shut Up."

"Where are your manners?"

"Picking up Crap."