Something

Have you ever thought that something in your life is wrong, that you did something wrong? If you say never or no, then you are lying to yourself, and you are doing something wrong. Well you may say that, who am I to criticize you? I am somebody that you don't even know or have ever heard of. Than why should you care about the things I say? Just because I am a human being, that's why? Hmm. Than you are wrong again. Do you want to know why? Because I am someone whose voice wants to be heard, that's why you are reading this, or only for curiosity, who knows? We, human beings, are so hard to understand. One day we say something, and the other day we say something that's the opposite of what we have said. Aren't we weird? Oh, now you think that the weird one is me that says this to you, even thought I didn't address to you personally. Everyone wants something from this crazy world. Something, something, something… what's that something that YOU want? You cannot tell me, because you don't know and can't believe me? Ha ha ha! Yeah, maybe you are right. Even if you weren't, who am I to judge you? Yeah, than why are you reading this? Why, why, why? Don't you think we ask too much questions? Well, that's just natural! We are just some miserable walking piece of meat. We live everyday, eat, drink, sleep, dream, have fun, be sad… We can be everything that we choose to be. I have my life under my control, but some people wants to control my life. Isn't that something cruel? Ah, if you think that's the cruelest thing that someone can do, than think it again. It's freedom the most precious thing in all world? Than what about LOVE? Is it only second in our hearts? Can we even compare the words FREE and LOVE? Isn't love something free? Questions, questions, questions… We all are made of a big fat question-mark. Why are we even here? God should have been really bored, maybe that's why he created us. Or are we even created from a man up there? I thought that only women can give birth to something, so maybe this god of ours is a female? Maybe, maybe, maybe… Are you bored because I repeat my words? If so, than don't expect me to apologize, because I won't. And if you are that bored than stop reading, but if you continue, I want you to read till the very end. Can you do that? Is not something that difficult.

Your dreams, what do people normally dream of? Something out of normal, or something that has happened in their normal lives? I dream about life, not only mine, but for life normally. I dream about time and times. I dream about someone that I don't know. Well, I don't think I dream of much. DREAM is something so far, but at the same time so close. It's in our minds, however it is even outside, at each step we take, at each idea we crush or realize. It's something between life and death, an not-eternal sleep, something that lasts for some second, and puff, vanish in the fresh air of the morning. Something immortal, but at the same time that doesn't last for long. Does something like this even exist? Isn't that pathetic to give such words to something so normal? Well, it is just how you see it. With your left, or right eye? With either of them, or with both of them wide open? That's the real deal, to not being able to tell which is right and which is wrong in your head. It's so confusing. Umm ! What am I talking about right now? What you don't know, even thought you're reading? Oh, but if you know, good for you, because I don't know for myself. And there you think I'm kidding. I'm way to naïve. Naïve, naïve, naïve… do you even know what naïve means? I know but I am not going to say anything. Am I confusing you? But I am not even a psychologist. I can say that I have lived enough to at least know this and that.

Now another question. Don't you think time is cruel? This answer, I don't want to hear. Why? Because there is only one answer for me. The time IS cruel. It makes you forget. Sometimes it is good to forget... NO... Now here you are completely wrong. You want to forget? No, you cannot forget, because it is a part of your life and if you forget it, than you forget a part of yourself. You have a memory that is awful that has made you cry several times, and has made you feel like shit. That's right, and you just want to forget everything about it, but is it okay like that? You will still suffer very much each passing night. That can cause you even more pain, don't you think? Ah, you know what? I have got a brilliant idea. Why don't we throw it away? Umm, how? Just accept it, live with it, accept your mistakes and live on. The best recipe. Your life doesn't end there and you can make a lot of other mistakes, who cares? The most important thing is to be at peace with yourself, and never do the same mistake twice, because than I'll definitely call you a psycho that doesn't learn from her/his mistakes. Oh my god, now I sounded like your personal therapist. Ha ha ha ! Aren't you still bored with me? I know! You like me, that's why you are continuing reading. Still you are not my style, I like brighter color, not like you. Anyway, it doesn't mean that I hate you either. I'm going to tell you one more thing. Time can make feelings disappear, but the cruelest thing is that it can even make people disappear from this earth of walking dead. Firstly you should be alive inside and then show it to all the world.

Have you ever thought of me? The truth is that I have thought of you. Uh, you don't believe me? It's okay, as long as I believe me. Do you trust at least yourself? Because there are people that deny themselves, just for the sake of someone else. Would you do something like that, is it even worth it? What is passing through your head right now, while reading this sentences? Are you thinking of the times that you would have done something like this, or thinking about what would you give your life for and would it be worth it? None of this? Do you think of what was I thinking in those moments that I was writing the sentences? I was thinking this question: "Am I that not afraid of death, that I could give my life that easily?" If I were again to answer that question, I would have said these: "I'm not afraid of death, in fact I am afraid of dying. I have lots more things to do, and my time has yet to come. I want to live to see everything (something) with my own eyes. This is my ambition sending me so far." There is one other crazy question, because if you want to survive in this crazy world, you should be a little crazy yourself. The question is this: "How would you like to die?" To this question, I am not interested in your answer. Now, here I AM sorry! I want you to read this answer of mine.

"I'm dying… away I see something shiny that is pointed at me (a gun), than a sadden flash. I tell myself not to go after the light, even thought here is very dark. I don't feel anything anymore, but surprisingly I know I am happy, in a way-another." – it's very easy to take away your life, after all is your life we are talking about , you are its tyrant , but you can't dare call yourself a human, if this only chances that is given to you by god, you don't live it at its fullest. It would be just a big waste.

You are who you are, and you will be who you want to be. It's simple, nothing more, nothing less!