It was snowing when they walked through the cathedral town. They met no one in the street, but he knew they were watching from the windows. He felt their hostile eyes as he struggled through the snow below.
He thought a lot about home these days. It was just so hard to stay focused. He couldn't remember or didn't know where they were going or what they were trying to accomplish anymore. If they were going forward or going back.
It had been snowing the day he had left. He thought about her, and how they used to go walking at night. He couldn't remember what they had talked about, but he knew that all the time they were walking he was desperately thinking,
if you love me won't you let me know?
It was a long and dark winter. He thought it might be December, but he wasn't sure. The days had blurred into weeks and months as winter dragged on until his whole life consisted of snow banks looming high on either side. He would see them all day and then sleep or watch them all night and when he woke up they would still be there. Everything was white, the snow covered everything, and the only change there ever was in the world was whether it snowed or not. Half the time his mind was somewhere else. He felt like a sleepwalker or a deep sea diver.
They stumbled into the town, and he watched the snow banks become ruins, and then buildings, and then the cathedral.
In the spring, they had been an army. Now they were ghosts and every day there was less of them.
The cathedral stood in the middle of town, solemn, towering over them, judging them. When he saw it he realized how stupid they were for thinking they could conquer the people who had built this. The cathedral had stood for a thousand years and it would stand over them while they died and then it would stand for a thousand years more. He wanted to laugh or cry. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
They stood before the cathedral's front, and the Fox climbed onto the steps and spoke to them, but the falling snow buried his words and he couldn't hear anything. So he pretended to listen but thought on his own.
He thought about how in the beginning the Fox had been their leader, and what he had become now.
He looked at the Cross on the top of the cathedral and he knew he was supposed to pray, but the only thing he could think was that one night he couldn't sleep and he wanted to read. The only book left was the priest's Bible, but the priest had just laughed and showed it to him and he saw it was all hollowed out inside.
He tilted his head back and looked up. She was standing under the same sky. Didn't they say that sometimes you could hear the thoughts of others? He remembered the last time he had seen her as the train pulled away.
So if you love me, won't you let me know?
He felt something that had been strained for a long while finally break. For once he wasn't cold. The snow fell right through him.
"Where do you think you're going?" somebody asked as he walked away.
He remembered walking beside her and looking at her face. She hadn't said anything when he told her he was going to be a soldier. He said had he was going to go far away and come back a hero, but she hadn't said anything.
If you loved me, why'd you let me go?
"Bury me in armor," he said "When I'm dead and hit the ground."
"Stop," one of them called.
"My life's a pole," he answered, "that death unfolds."
They didn't even bother to shoot him, because dying in the cold was worse.
A long time later, he was back home and it was snowing.
He was walking with her again, but she was quiet. They didn't meet anybody in the streets, but he remembered, from the rooftops they were watching.
They went to the hill where the violets used to grow and sat down in the snow. She was sad, and quiet still. He sat by her, waiting. The whole time with her, he was always waiting. He saw the cathedral in the distance where was never one before, and it reminded him how stupid he was for thinking
If you love me, won't you let me know?
If you love me won't you let me know?
Based off the song Violet Hill by Coldplay