i would like to say good-bye to you
to kiss you softly, just this once,
and explain that i just have to go,
i just have to go.

but the truth is,
i'm afraid, i'm so afraid.
and the money stashed in my old cd player,
the duffel bags waiting patiently to be filled,
the travel books and to-do lists and places to go plotted in red,

none of them are real, none of these things matter.

god, i want so badly to go
but i only remember how to stay