[b]Urban Legends[/b] by ff_b

While traipsing through the woods on St. Patrick's Day, I came upon a leprechaun in a clearing! He was engaged in shoemaking, the traditional occupation of the wee folk. Thinking how hard it was to find quality shoe repair in 21st century America, I excitedly ran up to him.

"Can you fix my loafers?," I asked the wee man in green.

"Isn't that just like an American?," he responded, setting aside his clay pipe to converse. "You buy cheap Chinese goods at Walmart, and then expect them to last forever!" His skilled hands flew over my loafers, however, and soon they were as good as new.

"Now since you're a leprechaun," I said slyly, hand over your pot of gold!"

The small bearded man in green looked at me over the top of his spectacles. "So it's to be robbery, is it?," he commented. "Fortunately, I am not without me resources!" He snapped his fingers, and from the forest stepped a Yeti. The powerful Bigfoot grabbed me and held me aloft like a doll, utterly helpless.

"Since we're both mythical beings, we belong to the same union, and kind of watch each other's back," grinned the leprechaun, who then nodded to the Yeti, who body-slammed me to the ground. Through my fading consciousness, I beheld the two of them dancing a jig before passing out. I awoke some time later to find that my wallet had been lifted, and a shamrock pinned to my chest!

Dragging my sore body into town, I trudged into the local pub to nurse my wounds and a pint of ale. At a corner table I beheld the leprechaun, who held aloft a stein of green beer while the Yeti ate corned beef and cabbage!

"We thank you for this repast, which we have bought with your money," saluted the leprechaun. "But don't try to summon the authorities...only you can see us! We're imaginary, you see!" The Yeti made a deep laughing sound in his chest at this. I cupped my head in my palms, resolving not to run afoul of the Easter Rabbit next month...