3.18.12

i write the pain out

like an addict.

because i am,

and the writing

helps

with the cutting

and the food

and my mind

that won't shut up.

i wonder sometimes

if i'm alone in my head

because

it's so loud

and bright

and painful.

i'm sure i don't

make all that noise.

i write to save myself.

to keep my body alive

in this hell.

to keep my mind

from killing me.

i write to save you,

you glorious person

i've never met.

because you and i,

we aren't alone in this,

even though i feel so alone,

all the time.

i want you to feel

what i feel.

i want you to cry with me,

laugh with me,

sing with me,

bleed with me.

there is this urge

deep inside me

to share my feelings,

but it is so hard to share

that which tears me apart,

without thought for how

i might want to live.

do i want to live?

i don't have a reason to,

except maybe,

i want to help someone

understand

what i feel.

i want you

to feel what i feel.

and i want these words to make things right

but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life

-Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, by Fall Out Boy