A: Come on B! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity… but mostly I'm just bored.
B: Do you remember the last time that you said that? We ended up in Missouri…MISSOURI.
A: It wasn't that bad…. I mean we met a cool guy up on that mountain. AND I learned to drive. Win – win!
B: We had no phone service, were lost, and were discussing where to put the bodies of our murder victims and the best place to hide them. Also, me and your brother thought we were going to be murdered by your mom. She did threaten to behead me and hide my head somewhere in Texas.
A: But she doesn't want to!
Exactly! SB: Doesn't mean she won't.
A: Okay ya gotta pick and choose your battles.
B: I don't know how to respond to that…WHY ARE YOU TAKING HER SIDE? Do you want me to be headless?
A: I don't want you to… but she scares me. She did threaten to behead you – and she likes you! She doesn't like me. It's safer for me not to argue.
B: How…but…jscha…what kind of argument is that? If she likes me then why is she threatening to behead me? does she usually behead people she likes?
A: Exactly! She threaded to behead you and she likes you! Imagine what she'd do to me if I upset her –she doesn't even like me!
B: So? You shouldn't be that scared of your mother. It's unhealthy.
A: So is being dead.
B: No, if you're dead you won't get sick or injured. You'd either be in heaven or with the kittens of hell.
A: Very true but I'd be dead and that just sounds so very boring. Speaking of boring…. I'm bored. So you gonna come with me or not? I will do this without you.
B: …is there going to be chocolate chip cookies?
A: If I say yes will you come? A jail cell will be boring alone.
B: No. you have to show me proof of the cookies.
A: Ah! Difficult….. um… poof have a cookie.
A: It's a… special cookie.
B: Yay! I'm happy.
A: Great – now let's not let this poor gasoline go to waste.
A: I knew that cookie would kick in soon!
B: What's on your head? Dear God! WHAT IS ON YOUR HEAD?...oh, it's a pineapple…
A: Maybe I added just a little too much… Are you experiencing any lack of feeling in any of you extremities?
B: Why, yes, yes I am…by the way…what exactly are extremities?
A: Oh boy… dang it! I was gonna get arrested tonight too! Maybe you should lay down…
B: No! Let's get arrested! It sounds like fun…
A: Wow… you really AREN'T yourself. Stand still while I knock you out.