'You know, man, you are the weirdest friend I have ever had.'
'Gee, I don't know whether to smack you with a pipe or thank you.'
'No, man. Most guys go on a rampage when they're rejected. Or they go to a bar and get as drunk as death. You – you talk to people. And buy stuff. Only girls do that, man. '
'What's so wrong with that, anyway?'
'You don't just buy stuff. You buy weird stuff. Like what you're contemplating right now. The heck is that, anyway?'
'It's an accessory to a handheld I bought over a year ago.'
'Don't you already have something like that, then?'
'Well, Sha's dad wasn't able to fix it, and I think they just threw that accessory of mine away.'
'So what's in it, anyway?'
'Just a bunch of light bulbs inside a gray plastic case controlled by an on-off switch. They called it a LightPak.'
'Yes, and you see that it costs 35 dollars and no one has bid for it yet. Imagine paying 1,500 pesos for a glorified lamp. You want me to buy you one instead? They have tons of those at cheaper prices in our local stores. I can get you one for 200.'
'Look, man. I know right now that you're feeling like shit, because, believe it or not, she doesn't like you. She never has, man. But you don't need to be buying a glorified lamp just to feel better. You want me to drink with you instead? Because we can do that. Do you even need it for your prehistoric PSP to work?'
'No, not really. The game works fine even with the fluorescent lamps we have on our rooms.'
'Then why the fuck do you even think about bidding for that? Don't even think for one second that you'll feel better if you get that. Getting that glorified lamp won't get you her heart. You may not be drinking yourself to oblivion, or even breaking things but you're still running way. It's all right, because there are tons of other girls out there that are looking for a nice guy like you.'
'Don't be angry. I know I may seem stupid at times but I have never bought anything I felt would be useless after some time. I hope I have the money to waste on something like that, but since I don't, I simply pick my spots.'
'But does even pondering about that really help?'
'Thinking about it and weighing the options certainly move me away from thinking about her. I mean, when I focus on these things I don't think about her, after all, so I guess that helps. Besides, I already just bought a rare console that I know will be a treasure in the future, so I don't really have the leeway to spend extravagantly.'
'And what would that be called?'
'It's an Epoch TV Vader. It's a console that plays Space Invaders.'
'Only Space Invaders? That 80s game where you shoot them all off the screen and just stack on the points? Only that?'
'Yeah, only that.'
'How much did it cost?'
'I got it for 65 dollars.'
'That's pretty expensive.'
'Considering that its price on another site is 255 euros, I'd say that's a steal.'
'How much is 255 euros, anyway?'
'Jesus. And 65 dollars?'
'Wow, you do know how to pick your spots.'
'Yeah, and that handheld game I bought that you said was too expensive costs a cool thousand dollars right now. Told you I wasn't that stupid.'
'You are the weirdest person I have ever known. Ever.'