August 5, 2012
It has been approximately five days since we left our "home". Just about everyone is in the most dismal of spirits, and I got to say that we should all be really happy that we made it out in time rather than the alternative. I can't, however, help myself in agreeing with them on the account that we really need to get some more supplies so that we can support ourselves here in this new house.
We decided that Jake would go with Nicholas and Kyle to go get some supplies from the houses next to us and any close gas stations or grocery stores to get some more food and stuff for Gracie. We are currently running low on diapers for her.
I haven't really had the chance to talk to Jake lately. I mean, he has been a little distant since his little spat at me a few days ago. After my whole appendix thing, I was kind of hoping that he would be really nice to me, and for a while he was, until all of this extra crap happened. Well, anyways, so we haven't really talked much or done anything else after we left, so I guess you could say that we are once again "off".
Kyle, Nicholas, and Jake decided that they were going to go to look around for a few days starting tomorrow for sure, but I don't know if they were going to be able to find much of anything. It's definitely worth a shot.
August 6, 2012
I can't seem to sleep anymore lately. I don't know if it is the fact that we might die within the next couple of days, or if it's the fact that we may end up living like this for the rest of our lives. If we have to live like this for the rest of our lives, hiding around, searching for unspoiled food, or trying to protect three kids while saving our own butts. I mean, seriously, if I had three choices as to how I want to live my life: dead by my own doing, turn into a flesh-hungry zombie, or being seventy and still hiding, I would choose death.
I know, how great is it to think of that, but I want to live as long as I can until the day that there is a cure for this or when the day that the tides turn over and we, who are living, are able to walk around in the dark without having to fear being killed in an instant.
Thinking back to before all this ever happened, I can't help but remember how naïve and stupid my friends and I were, thinking that we were practically invincible to pain. I use to not be able to remember what happened to them before Jake had found me at my house, but it came back to me when I woke up just a while ago…
I was walking down the hall, trying to weave my way past the million of people that go to my large school. I had been freaking out over my test that I had the next period after lunch because it was one of the few tests that Mr. Johnson, my Anatomy and Physiology teacher, actually has during the entire year, this one being the mother-load of tests. I continued to review over and over the number of intricate veins that there were in the human body, when a shrill scream echoed throughout the entire hallway… It was as if the entire school was frozen in time because everyone literally stopped in their tracks, save one punk kid wearing sunglasses with his headphones on, blasting screamo.
Another scream hovered, coming from the bathroom, and I could feel a chill running down my spine. Looking in the direction of the girl's bathroom, I could barely make out past all of the numerous bodies of a girl coming out with blood dripping down her arm…or rather what should have been her arm. The entire time she had been screaming, until she fell down onto the ground in a heap, still bleeding, but no longer screaming. People began to freak out all around me, but I could barely move. The girl's body started to writhe on the floor, causing a bigger panic among the students, and then she lay limp on the tile.
The kid who was blasting the screamo did not seem to notice that anything was wrong because he continued to walk on by, not even noticing the body. Then out of nowhere he fell to the floor as the girl's hand had grabbed and tripped him onto the ground. Suddenly, like a viper, the girl had gotten on top of him and began to tear at him, trying to bite at his face. He was clearly aware of what was going on and had tried to fight back with the chick, but to no avail because she continued to try until she finally managed to get her teeth sunken onto his face, ripping the flesh without so much as a thought. The kid had shrieked out in pain, and kicked her off, picking himself up off of the ground. His face was literally hanging off of his head, with his blue eyes staring wildly at us without his normal features around them. Everyone had begun to freak out and started to run away as the girl began to get up off of the ground.
I was pushed by the many people and had finally snapped out of my daze, trying to get away from whatever it was. Not really paying attention to where I was going, I had ended up making my way to the band hall, where I knew that one of my very best friends, Diane Smith, would be practicing her piano solo in one of the solitary practice rooms. I met Diane in the seventh grade; she was always the rather rambunctious one in the group, always wanting to try new things. She was so kind to everyone, even those who teased her about her many allergies or her clumsiness. The girl never missed a beat.
Looking endlessly for her, I saw that she in face working on her solo with a large set of headphones on, totally oblivious to what was going on inside. Going for the door handle, I tried as hard as I could to open the stupid thing, but she locked it, as usual. I waved arms at her, but she was intently focused on the music in front of her with her back to me. The fact that she had headphones on and the room was soundproof did not make matters any easier on me. Searching through my bag, I whipped out my phone and called her about three times before she ever answered me.
She was rather terse with me, but when I told her to turn around she gave a long sigh and saw that I was standing there. I motioned for her to open the door, and finally she did. Diane was walking toward the door when the ceiling collapsed in her room. Frantically, I searched all around for her through the window, until finally among all the dust I saw a figure on the ground… It was then that I noticed the second one lying right next to it.
Pounding on the door, I kept trying to get Diane to get up and out of the room, but she was still trying to push herself up off of the floor. She looked around the room, and then saw the other body in the room with her, I kept banging at the door, but she ignored me and went over to the other person. Flipping him over, Diane gave out a small little yelp when she saw that it was Carson Hansfield, a junior on the Varsity football team, second string. Gently touching his face, she tried to wake him up, but when he opened his eyes she forced herself backwards and away from him because his eyes were literally a blood red. Carson began to claw at her as she backed away into the furthest corner of the room from the door. I screamed for her to come this way, but to no avail, she couldn't hear me.
I could hear her muffled screams as Carson began to scratch her body and tear the skin off of her arms. Blood began to poor out of her body, and she had broke free from him and made her way toward me, he grabbed her from behind and dislocated her shoulder with a fierce jerk backward. Diane had nearly fainted form the shock of her arm, but it would compare to nothing as he began to rip and bite off her arm, as if he only loosened it so as to be easier.
I continued to watch as my best friend was ripped and torn to shreds while I did nothing but stand outside. Tears were pouring down my face, but when I saw that she was dead, and Carson began to try and force his way out of the room, I backed away from the door and out of the band hall. Pushing my way through abandoned items, open lockers, and rushing people, I tried to find my other two friends, Mariah and Ivy, and I did find them.
Ivy Brooks was what you would call a petite-sized model. She was a little awkward when it came to talking to people, and she always had a rather dry sense of humor when it came to talking to people, but if you really got to know her, you would find out that she is really sweet. Ivy was never really into sports, but she took pride in the drama department. When I had found her body hanging from one of the catwalks of the stage by a rope, I assumed this was an attempt of suicide, but that didn't mean that it still doesn't hurt. After finding her body, I continued on to finding my other friend.
I hear shouting from outside.
August 9, 2012
A few days ago, Jake and Robert had gotten into a bit of an argument because of how Jake did not want Robert to be the only one to be here with us girls because of how he could not shoot to save his life, let alone anyone else. Their little fight had gotten so heated that Gracie began to cry from inside of Myra's room. What made the whole thing worse was when Kyle had gotten involved and tried to force the two back away from each other. This lead to fists being flown and Kyle ended up being punched square in the jaw, by whom, I have no clue, but then Nicholas started getting involved. It wasn't until little Miss Mousy, Prudence, had shrieked for everyone to shut up that all of the quarreling began to digress.
She began to tell them off for getting Kyle hurt and that they should just settle their differences. Firstly, she had told Jake that he should just get over himself. Secondly, she also told Jake to just teach Robert how to shoot a gun, so that we could get on with our lives while we still can. I have to admit that I was rather impressed with our tiny little peacemaker, so I told them that we could last a day or two without new supplies, and then if Jake could teach Robert then they could leave.
Well, now they had already headed off and after thorough instructions from Jake to Robert in the "proper" way in firing a weapon and that if anything were to happen that he should always resort to whatever was around him. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the fact that he said that, but I went along with it and watched as the three men said their goodbyes to us. Nicholas was gave me a long hug and told me to watch over everyone while they were gone. Kyle gave us all a little wave, but a kiss on the cheek for Myra that left the both of them blushing. The last of the men, Jake gave everyone a hug (save Prudence who he gave a nod of the head to), but when he got to me, he grabbed Gracie gave her a kiss on each cheek and handed her to Myra. Then he pulled me over to the side of the large room, and said, "I am so sorry about snapping at you the other day, and I promise you that I will bring back Kyle and Nick as quick as we can. I won't let anything stop me from coming back to you." I nodded at him trying to hold back the tears in my eyes, and he gave me a soft kiss on the lips, holding me within his strong arms.
He pulled away from me with one of those gorgeous smiles of his and went with the other guys. I wasn't scared that he wouldn't come back, but rather at what cost would he have to go through in order to do so.
August 10, 2012
They are still gone, and we are still going strong in this little adventure by ourselves, but I have this heart-wrenching feeling that something is going to happen. I think it might have to do with the fact that it was Caleb's birthday, but I am not quite sure. Myra has been a little depressed lately due to a certain boy not being here, but I haven't said anything to her about it.
The girls, Robert, and I have been doing our best while the majority of the guys are out scavenger hunting to try and put boards up and against the windows so as to protect us. The boards, thankfully, were down in the basement of the house, and were going to be used for what we think might have been a tree house. We had enough boards for at least three per window of each room of the house, save the tiny kitchen window above the sink.
I'm lying on the bed as I write this, and I can honestly say that the bed feels too big without Jake.
August 11, 2012
Robert and I have been getting along rather well, he seems to think that I am some dork, but other than that he likes me. Like a few minutes ago when I was preparing to start writing, he grabbed my journal, ran away from me, and exclaimed everything he could from the first page he opened. It so happened to be the entry about my friends from high school. When he had gotten to the part about Diane, he stopped running down the hallways, making me crash into him. While we were lying on the ground, he picked up the journal and continued to read to himself (thankfully). I kept trying to grab at it, but he only swatted me away like a common housefly.
Then when Robert had finished reading, he closed the journal, holding it with both of his hands on his chest, finally looking at me. His eyes seemed to show confusion as he asked me if all that really happened. When I told him yes, he seemed to be a little solemn and asked what happened to Mariah. I answered back, saying, "I can't talk about it. If you would like I could write it down for you to read."
Thus, now I am here, writing down what happened to her:
Mariah Drake was a rather fashion-forward type of girl, mixing in the classics with the modern day style. Her hazel green eyes shone brilliantly with her alabaster skin and raven colored hair. She like the other two was one of my best friends, and I will honestly never forget what happened to her…
After finding Ivy's body, I ran away from the scene, trying my hardest to avoid people, be they alive or dead, it didn't matter. Searching everywhere for her, I decided to try and see if she was at her house. The streets were barren, save a few bodies and on occasion body parts that were strewn everywhere. However, it was the silence that was tearing its way at me, a pounding in my head that drove me over the edge.
Tearing my way across her front lawn, I found that the door had been busted open with scratches marking up and down the red paint. Walking inside, I looked inside of the living room, trying to avoid seeing all of the red that had already soaked into the wood floor. What I didn't notice until I tripped on the corner of the coffee table and fell was that Evan, one of her older brothers, was lying face down in a pool of his own blood. His green hoody was torn in several places, and from what I could tell one of his hands was gone. I could feel tears flowing down my cheeks as I got up, trying to run away form his body and find Mariah quickly. Going down one of the hallways that I knew would go to her room, I tried to open her door, but I found that it was locked from the inside, meaning I would have to get into it through the backdoor that goes to her room from the outside.
Gathering my courage, I made my way down the hall and noticed that the study door was open, when really it should be closed. Scanning the room, I noticed that Mr. Blake was sitting in the office chair at the desk, or at least what I assumed was him because like the screamo kid, his face had been in what I assumed ripped right off of his head. Looking about the desk, scooting over Mr. Blake's body, I rummaged through the drawers trying to find something that could possibly help me. I just about gave up when I felt something cold and metallic underneath all of the paperwork pushed all the way at the back. Grabbing hold of the gun, I placed the revolver on top of the desk finding the bullets for the gun in a small case in another drawer. I walked out of the room, feeling a little better.
Avoiding the glazed-stare of Mariah's mother in the kitchen, I made my way over to the backdoor, looking for any sign of movement. The back gate of the fence was open, so the dogs had probably been long gone for a while now. Checking the revolver to see if it was ready, I opened the door in one breath and ran to Mariah's bedroom's backdoor, but when I tried to open it, the door was locked. Becoming angry by this point at locked doors, I looked around to see if there was anything that could be used to break the glass of the door. Her little frog statue…
I remembered a few years ago, when I had asked her why did she have a little frog statue sitting outside of her backdoor, anyone could get in if they used the statue. She only said: "only the desperate will throw a frog to see me." At the time, I couldn't quite understand what she meant by that, so I let it go, but when I looked at the window and saw the only barrier between me and my last alive friend, I closed my eyes and grabbed the little shred of memory, throwing it against the glass.
When I heard the shattered pieces fall onto the ground, I opened my eyes, kicking away the remnants of glass left on the frame, and made my way through the opening. Glancing around in the darkness, I saw the bed with its blue covers in disarray as though she was in a hurry to get to school. Clothes were on the floor, but what caught my attention was that all of her clothes were on the floor, not just a few hear and there. The dresser had been moved from its original spot with the wide screen T.V. lying broken on the floor as though it was pushed off of the dresser in front of the door of the closet.
August 15, 2012
Something went wrong. We were found again and were forced to leave from the new base. I was sitting in the room with Robert when something hit the window at full force (almost completely ironic given that I was writing exactly given the situation). Glass flew everywhere and I fell to the floor with Robert right behind me. Gracie began to cry from one of the other rooms, so, trying with all of our effort, Robert and I scrambled to get up and make our way to the drawers in the dresser, so that we could grab a few of the guns in there.
When we turned around we saw that an arm was what broke the window, and that its owner, whichever one out of the ten it could be, was looking persistently for it. Robert opened the door and pushed me through it, telling me to get out of here and get Gracie and the others. Before I could get a word in, he slammed the door shut and began to shoot at the incoming army.
Running about the house, I found Gracie in her crib screaming and crying as Myra was fighting off a zombie with what looked like a wooden board. Cocking my gun, I shot the damn thing and handed Gracie over to Myra. We made our way into the living room, where I saw that Prudence was scrambling around on the floor, trying to get away from a hoard of those stupid shits before they got at her. I continued to shoot at them, reloading until they were all dead for good this time. There were so many of them coming at us all at once…
The gun in my hand ran out of bullets, and I felt as though that there was no hope for us at all when they walked closer and closer toward us. Then from behind me a gun shot out, and one by one the shits were dead. Turning around, I could feel my heart soaring because Jake and the others were back, but what I saw stopped that…
Standing right behind me, were two guys. The older one, who looked about thirty-years-old with a long-sleeved red-plaid shirt, jeans, and hiking boots, aiming a sawn-off directly where the batch of dead bodies were. The other guy was a couple inches taller than me and was quite a lot younger than the other guy, maybe around my age or a little older. He was wearing a black hoody, dark blue jeans, and tennis shoes. In his hand there was a sawn-off double barrel shotgun. Both appeared to be a little slovenly with their hair not brushed and their faces unshaven. Putting down their guns, the elder of the two walked forward and said:
"For a young lady, you sure know your way around a gun."
I stared at him in disbelief that he would randomly strike up a conversation as if nothing happened, "Well, I used to go out hunting with my dad when I was younger, but he also took me to the shooting range to practice with my handguns. He was a cop at the local police station in Granger."
The man nodded, "Yeah? So did we. Wait, what did you say your name was?"
I dryly replied, "I didn't, but it's Alexandria. Alexandria James."
His eyes began to widen as if he solved the world's greatest mystery, "Now I remember! You were..." He was cut off by who I assume to be his son elbowing him in the gut. The older man gave him a questioning yet scolding look, but when the other guy shook his head, he changed what he was going to say, "I mean, did you go to the high school as well?"
I nodded in compliance, and he continued on, "My son here, Raymond, did too, but when the school was attacked, we were out on a hunting trip. We didn't know about anything until we got back and saw the town deserted. My wife and youngest son was turned into those things..."
He paused, and I looked over at his son, watching as his face hardened, something wiggled around in my memory, but I let it go, "I'm sorry." The elder man remained silent. Feeling bad about breaking the silence, I began to ask, "I'm sorry, but all I know is that your son's name is Raymond. What is yours?"
He looked at me with a shocked face, but before he could answer:
A gunshot was heard in the other room where I had left Robert, grabbing Myra's crowbar, I ran and opened the door. It was still locked from earlier, but when I went to force it down, Raymond came up along behind me and kicked it down. Holding up his gun, Raymond went inside without a word and we saw Robert sitting in the corner amongst a horde of bodies. He was slumped with the gun lying down on his lap and a knife loosely gripped in his right hand. I couldn't tell where with his head bent but he was bleeding profusely…
My body went numb, and tears began to fall down my face, but when I tried to go over and check his body, Raymond held me back by the waist. I was shaking all over, unable to keep my emotions in check.
I know I haven't known Robert very long, but he's been there with us when we were in the toughest of crap. We had to leave his body there and get out of that house, but I made sure that he was honored. On the wall next to him, I wrote:
Robert Gordon Howard
November 4, 1998-August 11, 2012
He sacrificed his own life to save us
August 17, 2012
The other girls and I are really scared now about this whole leaving the house without the others know where we are going. I only told them that I would take care of it and that they would find us again, but not for a long while. When we left with our two new members, I wrote on one of the walls what had happened and that we were going to find a safer location that was hopefully close by. For the last two days, I have been trying really hard to figure out who this guy, Raymond, is, but I can't remember a single thing. His dad, Marcus Daley, apparently was a State Trooper that worked with my dad on a few cases. He kept asking me about what happened when the school was attacked, and I explained everything that I could remember. He was disappointed with what I said, but he nodded in understanding.
Myra, the entire time that we were traveling, was silent. I began to worry about her, but remained focused on the task at hand, keeping her and the others safe. We managed as a group to find a new house to settle in for the time being, and decided that we would scavenge around for food and supplies tomorrow, seeing as the house had enough for tonight and we brought enough for a few days.
We have gotten to know the new people a bit more, apparently for a while now they have been acting as nomads, unable to find anyone alive in a while besides us. I could feel the hope inside of me break, but I didn't let that show and continued on in getting to know them, trying to remember them. The entire time though, Raymond had remained silent, ignoring anyone who tries to talk to him.
From what I could tell about him (and what his father has told us), he went to Granger Secondary School as a senior and was an average student, planning on attending Texas Christian University on a football scholarship. He also apparently used to be a sort of "player" back in school.
I couldn't put my finger on it, but the guy was familiar, and he should be, but I can't remember a thing. I tried to talk to Myra about it, but she was mute as well, so I couldn't ask her if she remembered who the heck the guy was. A lot of things that happened during high school were a blur to me. I can barely remember a single thing that happened throughout all four years except the last day I had actually ever been in that building before all of this happened.
Before I close this and go to sleep, there is something that I have to finish up for a friend:
Her room was in total chaos with glass all over the floor, but I pushed through all of that and continued on, trying to push away the dresser with all of my strength. With a bang the large piece of wood was on the ground amidst all of the clothes and shards. Looking at the door, I began to get scared from what I might possibly see inside. Reaching for the doorknob, I heard the door to the bathroom open and someone shout out, "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!" Turning around, I saw my best friend standing there, scratches all over her and her curly raven hair in complete disarray, something I felt like she would ask the same million dollar question: "Is my hair messed up?"
Feeling like I was going to break down, I ran over to her and enveloped her in my arms, trying to make sure that she was real, and that this was not just some horrible nightmare. She wrapped her arms around me too and we both began to cry together. We found each other.
When we had finished crying and pulled apart, she asked me about Ivy and Diane. I felt like my heart dropped and when I told her everything that had happened, she began to sob, telling me that she was sorry that I was alone when I saw everything. I told her to not worry about it and that I would be fine. Then I asked her where she had been this whole time and she said that she locked herself in the bathroom waiting to come up with a plan for her to escape. I told her about the gun that I had found and that I need to go and find my family and that she should come with me. Her eyes glistened but she nodded and we were heading out when a thud from inside of the closet scared us into looking at the door.
The door kept bulging as something continued to bang against it from the inside. I was just about to ask her what was inside when the door broke and I saw the most disgusting dog ever. Its ravenous teeth were bare but only because half of its face was ripped off. Parts of the skin were hanging off of its body with blood dripping down its fur. Looking at the eyes of the dog, I saw the red-eyed stare of what I remembered used to be the golden eyes of Ranger, the large wolf dog that lazed about the house whenever I was over. The once sweet dog had become a vicious wild animal, growling at us.
Gun in hand, I made the smallest of movements, but he was too fast for us because he pounced at us, teeth and all. The both of us were knocked off of our feet and onto the ground, pushing back the heavy dog with our hands while the gun skittered on the floor behind me. He continued to snarl and tried to bite us as we kept him at a distance, but soon he was getting to close to our faces as we got more and more tired. Finally gathering up all of my strength, I kicked him in the chest and threw him back a few feet, which gave me plenty of time to grab the gun off of the floor and shoot him.
The bullet made full dead on impact into the chest, where the heart was, and surely enough he went down. Gathering our bearings, Mariah and I got off of the floor and quietly and softly made our way around the body, trying to reach the outside world filled with light. I got outside of the door, looking around to see if there was anything else we needed to be worried about. When I turned around, I saw that Mariah had cut her leg on some of the glass shards, but she only held her breath and was about to pull her other leg out of the door when something shifted inside of the room and she was pulled back a little by the leg. She began to scream and I saw the no longer finally dead Ranger still snarling, not even holding back to continue on biting down on her leg. I grabbed at her arms and tried to pull her out, but that damn dog had a good hold on her. Looking at the pleading look on her face, I grabbed the gun from behind me and aimed, ready to kill.
In my family, I was always the kind of tom-girl that replaced the son my dad actually wanted. Feeling the pressure of having to aim, brought back so many memories of my dad teaching me how to shoot, to disarm a gun, and so many other things. Looking straight into the eyes of the beast, I pulled the trigger and heard the clean shot going into the head. He let go of her leg, slumping to the floor, as she managed to get out of the house. Her leg was bleeding, and the bite on her leg looked nasty.
We barely walked ten seconds before she started to change…
She fell to the ground, writhing around in pain, almost like she was holding a lighting rod in the middle of a thunderstorm. I tried to hold her down to make her still, but she continued to move about. Then I began to try and call out to her, "Mariah stop! Talk to me! What's wrong?"
At my words, still thrashing about, she looked me in the eye and continued to stare at me. With only the strength she had, she whispered, "I don't want to end up like my sister and my brother… Don't let me become one of them… Please…"
I could only stare at her in disbelief at what she was asking of me to do. I was shaking, and not from holding her, "No, come on, you can make it. We can leave this town and go somewhere else. Be safe from it all."
She gave me a pained look, "I have seen what happens when a person is bitten… Please just end my life now, so that it doesn't happen…"
I started to cry, but she held my gaze and begged, "Please… I would rather be killed by someone I know than have anyone being killed or tortured by me…"
Shaking my head after a while, the tears streaming down my face, I told her to close her eyes, and held the gun firmly in my hand, trying to stop my hand from shaking. Then after releasing a shaky breath, she was gone in a matter of five seconds. Her body had stopped moving, and I held her closely in my arms. I sobbed for what felt like hours, having flashes of sleepovers, club meetings, and birthday party's fly out of my mind as the last one of my best friends had died. The blood on my hands would never go away, remaining stained forever.
I left after pulling her body back inside with the rest of her family and laid her on the bed, making the covers go over her as if she was sleeping peacefully. She had a smile on her face.
After that day, it seems like the memories before that day was gone, as if I had never existed. I could see small flashes of the memories, but nothing to really get me started on anything. It seems like the only thing I could even reminisce about was the day my life had changed drastically.
I hope this clears up everything Robert.
August 20, 2012
I am beginning to find it to be harder to finding the time to write about this stuff that is going on. Myra is still in her depressive state of not talking to anyone. Prudence is a little shaken, but she is gathering her bearings and staying strong. At least she is still talking to me. She thinks that Myra needs some psychological help with all of the losses that she has to endure, especially with her mom and brother.
Gracie has been a trooper in all of this, acting all cute and innocent, reminding us all of a better time when there was nothing wrong with the world and that everything had once been all shiny and new. Then again it might be the fact that she doesn't even realize what is happening, so she is quite content in her life among the living dead.
Marcus and Raymond have been really cool about this whole coping thing lately. They understand that we need time to get used to the fact that we lost someone else. They probably understand that we need to wait for the others to join back up with us. I mean, that's what we have mostly been doing lately is wait for the others to come back for us. Raymond and I went out on a search for a few hours everyday since my last entry to see if we can find anything, but there is like literally nothing. We went to the house first and started off there. They found the note because there was a nice looking whole in the wall in what we could easily say was a punch. I will give anyone three guesses as to who that was…
We figure that the guys are somewhere around the area still searching for us, but the house that we are at now is about a good thirty-minute walk from the last one. I'm betting though that they are going to continue to search throughout the houses on each street for about four miles until they find us.
Marcus has been telling me stories about some of the cases when he and my dad would work together. I think he expects me to know some of the funny ones, but I don't. I told him that I don't really remember anything before all of this, and the only thing that he did was stare at me funny, as though in disbelief at something. He looked from me back to his son for a while before nodding and dropping the subject. I felt awkward just standing there so I turned around and went to go find Gracie, but when I did so, I saw that his son was staring at me. His gaze held mine only for a moment before he looked away.
August 21, 2012
I should probably go ahead and write down the bios for our newbies since they are probably going to be staying with us for a while:
Name: Marcus William Daley
Date of Birth: September 15, 1974
Life (before): Texas State Trooper
Physical Appearance: Receding dark black hairline, brown eyes, approximately six feet tall with a barrel chest and lumberjack muscles
Job: Field and Guard
Name: Raymond Carmichael Daley
Date of Birth: February 12, 1993
Life (before): Senior at Granger Secondary School, planned to attend in the fall at Texas Christian University on a football scholarship
Family: Father- Marcus (38), mother dead A.Z.A.
Physical Appearance: Raven black hair with Emerald green eyes, approximately six feet tall, with a great physique
Job: Field, Guard, and Technical
I do need to talk to them about whether or not they are going to stay with us whenever our other guys get back because I know that they are just here for now since we lost the only other guy we had with us, and I think that the whole male dominance thing comes into play here. Stupid testosterone. Anyways, so far everything has been going rather well lately. I mean, besides the stages of depression that Myra gets in or the cold silence that Raymond currently is in.
In the house that we are currently in, we still have the shift between the three guards (three since Myra isn't talking still). While each of us is sharing shifts, I am sharing a room with Prudence, Myra is with Gracie, and Marcus is with Raymond. I did remind them that we would have to move again to find a bigger resident since we have three more guys.
I am sitting on the couch in the living room since it is my turn to take the watch for the night. After not having the ability to sleep for days, my eyes are beginning to weaken under the pressure of staying awake for so long. Writing this journal entry is just about the only thing that is keeping me awake right now-
Step One: Write the solution they give you and place a backwards "L" around it
Step Two: Write the coefficients of the variable powers in order with spaces in between (keep in mind that if you are missing a power you write zero)
Step Three: Skip a line and draw a line
Step Four: Immediately write the first coefficient under the line
Step Five: Multiply that number by the solution in the box and place it under the next coefficient
Step Six: Add the product to the coefficient and place the sum under the line
Step Seven: Repeat steps five and six until you finally get the sum of the last coefficient to equal zero
Step Eight: If there is more than one solution, plug in the answer for the previous equation division with the next solution and solve for the same
Apparently this notebook was previously owned by some kid who only cared to write down the notes for one of the most basic things in Pre Calculus. I know that sounds kind of petty, but I seriously hate it when someone who does not typically take notes only does so when it comes down to the easiest of stuff and then says "Fuck you!" to the hard stuff. That might be the whole nerd side of me talking, but still, I completely hate that.
Anyways, before I go on a complete rant, Gracie is still the cutest little toddler ever. We haven't been able to get her to form words yet, but I know that it will be exciting for all of us. She has tried to get Myra to talk for her for the longest of times, but still nothing.
August 23, 2012
Yesterday, Raymond and I went out again to go looking for the guys. Neither of us talked to the other, and at times, it was a little scary without anyone saying anything. I was just about to speak when he finally broke the silence, asking me:
"Why do you trust me? Don't you remember anything about me?"
With my heart pounding at a thousand miles a minute, my head snapped up from what I was looking at and I stared hard at him, trying to place the face, but nothing, only nudges. I told him as much, and he looked away for a second before looking back at me.
"So you don't remember what I was like? Or what I did before all of this?"
I could feel my lip beginning to quiver from the amount of anger rolling off of his body, but I continued to shake my head. He slammed his fist down on top of the counter in the kitchen, releasing an angry growl. Holding the pistol firmly in my hands, I took a couple of steps back. He looked at me with wild eyes until he realized that I was scared of him. Letting out a breath, he looked at me and told me that he was sorry and that we should continue on in searching for the others.
We continued to search until it was nearly sun set. Questions about what had happened were echoing about in my head, but I didn't get them answered until this morning.
I felt a sense of hopelessness as we continued to search throughout every single house in search of the others, but we are still coming up with nothing. As we searched, a sense of curiosity overtook me and I asked the question, I have been dying to ask:
"Who are you?"
This seemingly got his attention, but he only said Raymond Daley. By this point, I was getting a little miffed at the fact that he won't talk to me, but I realized my error and asked:
"Who were you?"
He looked at me with his piercing green eyes, and said:
"I was Ray Daley, the star quarterback of Granger's football team, the kind of guy who thought himself to being a god compared to all of the others, and took whatever he wanted. Back in school, I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch, so I screwed around with anything in a skirt. I never told either of my parents about it, but they always knew because whenever I would look at my mom, I could see that look of disappointment in her eyes. At the time, of course, I didn't give a fuck because I believed that I didn't need her permission to live my life…"
We stood there like that for what was about half an hour, discussing about the number of problems that he had with his family and how he realizes that he needed to learn to grow up. This was when he began to get uncomfortable…
"…I know that I freaked you out yesterday when I got angry, but I was only frustrated with the fact that I had just came to terms that I had done something terribly wrong to you and that I regretted ever doing it to you…"
Goosebumps began to form up and along my entire body as he continued to talk, and fearing for the worst I took a gulp, asking him with a voice as quiet as a whisper:
"What did you to me?"
He looked down and sighed, pausing before he answered, "Well, like I already told you, I just about had a new girlfriend every week… However, that's not entirely true, you see, way before all of this apocalypse crap ever happened, there was this one girl who managed to stay with me for a few months. I was completely head over heals with this girl, I mean, she was brilliant, not like any of the other girls I had dated, sassing me with nonsensical crap about some random shit, and was as gorgeous as hell. She was like this new challenge to me and I had to have her, all of her, so I began to give her these hints about sleeping with her, but she would only pat my face and tell me 'better luck next time.' I got angry after a while and snapped, trying to force her, but she got away from me every time. Fed up with it, I slept with the first girl I saw, and she happened to be one of her best friends. Word got out about it and the girl was crushed, yelling at me to never speak to her ever again. I have a scar on my cheek from when she threw a picture frame of us at me."
My eyes had furrowed in concentration trying to piece together at what I had to do with the story, when a flash of memories came rushing forward. I could see me throwing the picture at his face, the metal edge hitting his cheek and cutting, only to have the glass shatter as it hit the floor, me being pushed onto the bed as he tried to take my clothes off, and me kicking him in the balls so that I could run away form him.
I was completely horrified with everything that I had just seen in my head, my tears streaming down my cheeks. He tried to comfort me by putting a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged my shoulder away from him and wiped away my tears. Without looking at him, I told him that we had to continue searching for the others while there was still light out. He only muttered in compliance.
August 26, 2012
After the whole confession moment with Raymond, he opted to stay behind and have his dad take his place in searching for the others. I felt no reason to complain about that, in fact, I didn't say a thing to him, but rather went along with the switch, feeling the need to not see Raymond alone for the majority of the day.
I'm beginning to think that something horrible happened to them, and that we should move on because it was hopeless, but this little voice in the back of my mind is telling me to keep on going and that we will find them really soon. That is was only a matter of time before we would see their shining faces again.
Marcus continues to try and tell me stories about cases that he and my father had together, but I didn't really seem to care about anything that he said, so I only nodded and 'hmmed' when it was necessary. It wasn't until he asked me a question about Raymond that I was caught off guard and began to pay attention:
"So what happened between you and Raymond? I mean, I used to see you at the house all the time with him, and believe me he was the happiest guy on the planet, over the moon really, but then after a couple months he began to get moody and everything. He got these horrible grades and began to sleep around with a bunch of girls."
I began to squirm around, but I manage to say, "Well, I didn't remember this until he told me, but he cheated on me and we broke up. To be honest though, I only remember being angry with him for all of the wrong things that he did. But I don't know which one of my friends he cheated on me with or when we dated. Please understand that I can't remember, I only remember throwing things at him and why we broke up. If you want to know everything please ask him about it because I'm still trying to figure some things out myself. After the school was attacked, it was like my brain wanted to block out any connection I had with anyone, so I can only remember the basics of my three best friends, who my family was, and everything that happened when the school was attacked onward. I'm not kidding you. I mean, I wish I could help you, but I can't."
He nodded in understanding and we set back to working on the task of finding the others, but he managed to let out a quiet "I'm sorry" to me.
August 29, 2012
I finally got Myra to talk to me about what was bothering her. She managed to say in a whisper that she was terrified of losing everyone that ever cared about her, and that she could not handle it if she lost Kyle and the others. I held her in my arms for what felt like hours, explaining to her that what she felt was only exactly what I was feeling as well, and that we needed to stick together in all of this, or else we may go crazy. She chuckled a bit at this, but then in all seriousness asked, "What if something happened to them? What if they are all dead? What if only one or two of them come back? What are we going to do?"
I sighed and explained to her that if any of that happens, we would do for them what we did for Robert, Katherine, and Jackson and that we would write for the world to know exactly who they were: the kind souls they were. If we are to never find them, or if we found their bodies that we would mourn for them, but continue on to survive for the sake of Gracie and her because they are the future that we want to live on. She sobbed a little at this, but she nodded in understanding, and finally thanking me for getting her through all of this.
Then with smile on her face she asked me if I could take Raymond with me again instead of Marcus because she felt a little nervous around the former Senior Star Quarterback. I laughed whole-heartedly at this and when I did Gracie came rushing into the room trying to figure out what was going on.
August 30, 2012
Way late last night or rather early this morning, I was on night-guard duty. The entire house was silent, but then there was this really loud bang coming from the door. Grabbing my gun, I walked toward it, but remained hidden behind a wall in the kitchen. Suddenly the door gave way to the weight of something forcing it down, like it was kicked. Looking away from the door, I saw three figures looming in the doorway, their faces were covered in what looked like sweat, blood, and dirt. The one in the middle walked into the house, gun in hand, ready to strike. The shortest of the three walked in next, his arm was in a sling, but in his right hand was a pistol. Then what looked like the oldest walked in just as ready as the other two. All three were worn and tired, and before I could do anything, the middle one called out:
I felt my heart soar when I realized it was the guys, but I was frozen to that spot. Jake's little holler had woken up the others because they had ran out of their rooms from the hallway and saw the three men standing there. Myra cried out in happiness and went to hug all three, saving Kyle for last, holding onto him while crying. He only dropped the gun from his hand and wrapped his one good arm around her while trying to calm her down, a huge smile on the both of their faces. Gracie who was with Prudence, clapped happily and laughed while Prudence held onto her, smiling and welcoming the boys back. Jake seemed to look around, but when his eyes landed on Marcus and Raymond he became a little defensive, asking them questions.
Marcus began to explain that they had found us the day that Robert had died and left with us to go and find shelter. He told them about what happened to them and that they had stayed to help us out with searching. Jake seemed to understand because he nodded and told Marcus a quick 'thank you' for what they had done for us. He seemed a little distracted, but managed to ask, "Where is she?"
Everyone except Marcus and Raymond seemed to know whom he was talking about, but no one answered him for a while. He began to look pained, but I was still frozen solid in the kitchen, hidden from their view. As if she knew what he was asking, Gracie began to fuss in Prudence's arms, and when Prudence finally put her down, Gracie ran as fast as she could to where I was in the kitchen. She looked up at me with her pretty green eyes and raised her arms up, begging me to pick her up. Everyone watched as she did this, and when I picked her up, I looked into his silver gray eyes.
I swear if Gracie hadn't been moving about in my arms at that moment, I would have believed that this was all some figment of my imagination. Moving closer to him, I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes, and when we only a foot apart, I felt Gracie being lifted from my arms and his strong arms wrapping around me. Then in one swift move, he kissed me with so much passion, that I was grateful for the fact that his arms were keeping me in place. There was so much emotion in that kiss, that when he pulled away, I could hardly breath. Placing his forehead against mine, I heard him whisper, "I told you that wouldn't let anything stop me from being with you."
Tears began to run down my face, but I didn't let it stop me from kissing him again.
For the rest of the night/morning we laid across the couch in each other's arms, not wanting to let go.
August 31, 2012
As I am writing this before going to sleep, for the last two days, we have all been working really hard to get things back to normal for us. It had been decided that Marcus and Raymond would remain with us for as long as they wanted to, seeing as how they kept us safe when the guys were gone. This didn't go so really well…
When they guys had came back yesterday morning, Raymond has distanced himself further from the group, and when the others asked him if he would like to stay with us, he yelled out and replied with a huge "FUCK NO!" before storming off into his room. Marcus had gone after him and told us that the two of them will stay with us because he wanted to find stability for his son, then while looking at me, he mentioned that he wanted to get to know us better considering a couple of us were from Granger. We merely nodded before deciding on what the next move was.
In the next few days, we would all be traveling north in search of a newer more remote town to live in. Marcus piped in that there was a very small town that he knew of, and that it wasn't that far from Plano, but it did have a couple of houses that were big enough for our large group. Now, the only thing that we needed was gas for the van because it was big enough to fit all of us since we lost one of the other cars a while back trying to escape last time.
AN: Hey, guys I know that I had given up on this story a while back ago, but it was only because I was frustrated beyond all belief at myself, but after a couple of events that happened in the time that I had last updated. I just wanted to say thanks for understanding, but I do plan on continuing this story. I also wanted to give a shout out to my two best friends, who I know read this story that I appreciate them every single day because through the toughest of days, they always managed to see if I was okay, and I could never repay them for that. You guys are like my sisters! Thank you for taking care of me when I was battered and bruised, you guys mean the world to me!