Thinking

I wondered as I walked

how long could I last

how long would I last

when would i shatter?

I started to think

just what might happen

if to say, I just so happened

to die today.

who would miss me?

who would cry?

what would there

very reactions be?

who was sincere

throughout my whole life

who was the honest

and who was the lier.

As I neared the house,

empty inside

I couldn't stop my mind

from going overload.

it became paranoid

depressed and all things above

completely and utterly

out of control

I lay in my bed

alone with my mind

thoughts run through

betweens battles of wills

before I knew

it became to much

the voices grew louder

they just wouldn't shut. up.

I tried every thing possible

book and my music

but nothing would work

nothing could silence

their annoying

talking

degrading

whispers

so I gave into

the demons inside me

I apologized to the angel

who lost the fight to that demon

I took out my blade

and sliced my own wrist

covering old scars

and making new lines

before i knew it

I had 30 new cuts

all up my arm

all over my wrists

but then as I gazed

at the red stained floor

the silver glint in the sun

and the gun to my right

another voice spoke

one so completely new

it said I was loved

by more then a few

for some utter reason

I looked at my wrist

and I wondered

Was I stronger than this?

I decided to try

nothing to lose

except maybe

my sanity.

but then again

every addict

has their

withdraws.