bizarre story

It was a bueatiful summer day. everyone was gathered in fold out chairs in the bayou. The groom comes out in a blue riff shirt and blue jeans with holes in them. and his boots on. the brides dad has a shot gun in his hand pointed at the groom. the wife comes out when they start playing "Dixie" in the background. shes in a purple tank top with tight blue jeans. and flip flops. the dad puts the shot gun down to take a swig of the moonshine in the mayson jar beside his chair and then picks the shotgun back up and points at the groom.
"great the dad has been drinking and has a shot gun pointed at me." the groom thinks. the preacher starts to speak.
"howdy y'all we are gathered here today to join these two in wholy matrimony." the dad has the gun ready to fire. "if there is anyone who feels these two should not be wed speak now or forever hold y'alls peace."
"yeah I have an objection but im being forced to marry this girl." the groom thinks.
"do you bubba take this girl to be your lawful wedded wife."
"I do."
"and do you reba take this man to be your lawful weded husband."
"I do."
"I now pronounce you man and wife. you may now hit the bride."
he decks her but she gets right back up. "see I told you it was a good idea for you to drink some moonshine first before we started sweetie. " bubba says.
"yeah I didn't feel a thing."
they get into the grooms pickup and drive off. there's a opossum being dragged behind the car. he just ran over it on the way here.