Beta read by: Dorothy Davies
Story updated on: - 05/04/2012


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events are entirely coincidental.

The Three Little Experiments

The science lab was located on the tenth floor of a New York high-rise. It boasted state of the art technology from gene-slicing right down to the drug testing they preformed on mice that liked to run around in their little cages.

However, today was a marvel in its own right as one scientist discovered a breakthrough involving three little pigs.

He wanted to perform some testing on a drug that would increase the intelligence of the modern man. His funding was due to be cut due to the mundane nature of his experiments and this was his last chance before he was fired from the scientific community. He would have nowhere to go and his way of life depended on this success.

Of course he could not experiment on humans and the closest thing he had on hand was the piglet's he nicked from the local farm on the outskirts of the city.

He wasn't the type of man to care about the ethics of using animal testing. He always ignored the animal rights activists and go under the board to get his own way. He showed no respect for his subjects or the feelings of animals. He saw them as the lower species made only to eat or test on. So when he held that little piglet in his hands, he showed no mercy in wedging that long huge needle into its neck.

As expected, the poor little thing squealed, struggled and finally flopped out before the scientist dumped the thing into its cage and moved to the next subject like they were some used garbage.

His hand reached in for the next candidate and the two remaining piglets rushed around the cage desperate to get away from his evil hand.

They failed.

His hand swooped in like a hunting awl and he grabbed that squealing pig like the hand of god. The needle went in and the final piglet was left. It too succumbed to the same fate.

After his experiments, the scientist laid back into his chair and allowed his bony arms and legs to slouch out in all directions. He decided to wonder about the next phase of his plans. The injection should take effect in a few hours and he'd been up all night playing with the female workforce that stayed behind after hours. They used any excuse to stay away from their husbands and this was the perfect time to get in some extra breeding time.

Then he dreamt about winning the Nobel prise. He thought about all those stupid people becoming intelligent from his work. His father had always been stupid and he was surprised to learn that his intelligence came from an outside source. From his initial investigations, his mother had slept with a co-worker and never told his father. At least that one-night-stand was with someone that had the collective intelligence of both his parents put together, he thanked his good fortune for that.

Back to reality, he drempted about standing on stage and marvelling at his cure for the common idiot disease.

So many people smoked pot these days and the storm of inbred humans needed a miracle to save the species. Then he envisioned his miracle cure helping people throughout the years and his name engraved on gold for the whole world to see. He even imagined a bronze statue in Time Square to immortalise his power.

Then he heard a faint crash on the other side of the lab.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked out the vast windows that lined the wall at the far side of the building. It was dark.

The florescent lights buzzed in the background and the hum of the extractor fan slowly caressed him back to sleep.

Moments later a huge disturbance woke him up completely. He was not as drowsy as last time. The lab was partly lit with the end of the room showed in darkness. He took his feet off the counter and looked into the semi-darkness. "Hello, anyone there?"

Not a sound

"I know you are there, I can hear you breathing…"

The scientist stood to his feet and removed his long white coat because he felt hot. In fact the room had increased in temperature and he saw no reason for it.

The florescent light continued to hum and the other flicked off.

Is somebody's playing with me?

"Is that you Nick! C'mon don't be a wanker." He barked. But he did not hear anything.

The scientist took a step forward and his foot hit the side of the piglet cage. He looked down and saw the cage empty. They were gone. Oh no! He thought. Those fucking animal rights activists have run of with my experiments.

"Oi…you bum-bandits, those are my experiments you've taken. Return them or I'll call security."

There was no sound, no acknowledgment.

The scientist replied, but in a much firmer tone. "I said, return my experiments or I will call the police."

A chilling voice broke out through the backdrop of silence. It was squeaky, but not the high pitch squeak everyone knew. It was deep, hollow and cracked. It spoke clearly in English.

"If you go down to the woods today…you're sure of a big…surprise!"

The room was calm and the scientist stood, stunned into silence. Little hoofs hopped around in the darkness, teasing, mocking.

Then the same voice spoke out from the darkness. "Little pig! Little pig! Let me come in!"

It snorted then more little hoofs trotted around. Closing in on the scientist. He did not want to stand around and find out what was making that sound. He swing around, bolted for the door and ran out along the corridor into the darkness.

He ran for his life. Little footsteps quickly trotted behind, like some angry spirit on a revenue course for the torture they experienced. The scientist did not know who or what it was. He only wanted to escape.

More voices echoed down the dark corridor, the darkness swallowed up by the fading lights. "Let me come in!"

The second voice, much like the first, responded. "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!"

The scientist, obviously terrified by the remark looked behind only to find a stampede of three little pigs he'd injected is compound into. He could not understand what was happening or what they wanted, but their foot long-teeth, and deformed heads indicated that something went horribly wrong with the experiment.

He dived into the nearest room and locked the door. Darkness covered him like a shroud and he was unable to see anything.

"Little Scientist! Little Scientist! Let me come in!"

The scientist heard the echo of the terrifying voice outside the fire-door. Little hoofs prowled back and forth waiting to get in.

"No! Piss off!" the scientist barked.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and then I'll blow your door in!"

The scientist stepped back from the door and backed up further into the darkness. He heard the huffing behind the thin fire-door and each intake of air made him walk that much further into the darkness. When the huffing stopped. He waited in stone-cold silence.

Suddenly a torrent of wind snapped the lock and forced the door of its hinges. Slamming to the ground in an upheaval of fury, the scientist scrambled to his feet and caught his breath. The lights were broken and the only source of light came from the small florescent bulb that hanged from its assembly in the corridor.

It flashed and the three pigs slowly trotted into the room. Its pink body reflected the flashing light clearly and their curly tails wiggled with pleasure.

They moved closer, deformed heads cracking and squealing.

"Little scientist! Little scientist…we're coming for you!"

The scientist suddenly woke up, dropping a bunch of items off his desk. He looked around his dark lab and realized that he was only having a morbid nightmare. He reached into his pocket and smiled at his own good fortune. How can pigs gain the intelligence to kill someone? It's only a silly dream… Boy, a man can imagine the strangest things.

He gazed down, slowly washing the dream away until he saw the empty cage without the three pigs. He shot to his feet and looked around the dark lab.

He heard hoofs trotting around in the background and then the strange ghostly voice filled with mischievous terror, began. "Little Scientist! Little Scientist! Let me come in!"

© Shane Ward