I feel something inside me begin to crumble
Having all these footprints on my back
And cruel mocking in my head, They.
They keep asking me not to try,
These fragile strings and broken memories all inside me—
Empty faces and failed romances all about me—
They make me feel as though I may
Fall to pieces on the ground
They are full of pain, and unseen violence,
Slowly ripping away at some vital part of myself.
I just want to forget,
I wish I could run and
Find some haven in hills and simple songs
I want to surround myself with streaming
Color and hope that tomorrow is
They keep clouding up my sky.
I feel them behind my eyes
Making me heavy and wherever I walk,
I see the ground cracking.
I am an empty womb and I have never felt
Hollow like this before, I am the sun that keeps
Shining and I just wish I
I would cry—
I would take this sorrow and unwrap it
Discover it and understand it,
Instead becoming undone with it
I am a dream dying, a mouth gone dry, and
I don't have strength left now to cry.
They are worthless
And dumb, they are blind and deaf
They don't even know me!
Rage takes up guard beside me, holding his head
High, his mouth set in a tight line
He glances my pathetic figure
and his eyes are sad and cold and full of understanding,
I make love to him,
Feeling his ecstasy and becoming alive with it,
He gathers my sadness
And sets it aflame.
I feel broken but more weary, as though I've been shattered
And repaired, filled with some obscene
And mindless hope only to be
Carelessly broken again, they.
They have clumsy hands and forgetful hearts.
I thought to make them mine, to bend them and move them
And redefine my world with them,
They never wanted this.
My thin wrists and soft skin, awkward knees and naïve
Mouth, they didn't crave my sadness and sensitivity
The words that seem to swim and breathe and make shapes inside me,
My poetry or heart
My song or smile, and
I wish I could find them on one of my better days
Without passion dripping from my dress,
They could handle this.
Pride grabs me and shakes me,
Pity turns his back
To Pride's abuse
And I grow full of Vanity,
Filling my fists with Denial
Fighting for Valor,
For honor and
This will never be the end, they.
They think they can spread silent wings and take flight alone,
They believe they are the only things worth
They will keep wearing masks and asking selfish things
Of innocent people, and so I will begin
This will be the start, of I.
I am strong.
I am blood and sweat and the rain on your brow,
I am salvation and sin, compassion and generosity,
And I will never forget, this is our fight
And I will fight forever—
We deserve gold skies and lime green grass, friends
And lovers and people to dance with, all of us
With gossamer wings, weaving dreams and eating stars.
I believe this,
It is my forever and my ideal
It is my dream and my understanding—
They are dust, and they will be