Here I am in the corner of the room

And all I can think about is how much I wish I didn't

Need you, Wanting your breath and your hand

And things that people dare to dream about

Your dark eyes and the promises that they could make

And how I wish I was a girl with no heart

Who takes hearts instead and pulls them open in her palm

Could I be that girl, with a soft eye and sly grin

Could I be like that, not wanting just taking, forever forgetting

And never hurting

You and your soft skin and soft sigh, I get high of

your smile and, Oh dear, the things we could create together

Though I have made this mistake so many times

I am dying of it. I want to rip out this beautiful thing,

Killing flowers, killing time, I don't care anymore

Show you some girl with no face, just ribs and skin and tongue,

I want to stop being so

Emotional,overly,instinctual,

I want to be free of desire and free of desire of happiness

Because?

BECAUSE! It's hurting and I'm done with it.

I'm done with wanting and being the best, how can I be more than I

Am, Oh love, it's not what you do to me, It's what you make me believe

And I never learned to be good enough or how to let go

How to stop crying and still try. I want to be a

Rock,solidwall,andbrickmadewithsteel

Forget you and the things that feel so good here

Like your hand on my hand

Or my cheek on your chest, stopplease

I don't want to be in love. I'm bruised and bloody and crippled

And GODDAMNIT

Stop trying!…Baby… please

And you've done nothing wrong, beautiful boy

With your kind voice…It's just your being making me want to

Run. You are my worst fear and everything

I could want. And I don't want it anymore.

I wish I could be without need, then maybe you wouldn't have me

Dreaming all about you, just wanting everything perfect for you

It won't happen.

And I'm a rotten fruit your pretty lips won't want to sink your teeth into

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry

I'm trying so hard to let go, tear open my own ribs and let the pain sink in

This heart so wide open and begging,

I will cut off its knees

And bleed on the floor. This time not patching up again, this time, my heart

won't mend... And you won't have need of me

I'll be gone and dark and wrapped up in things.

It's for the best, I promise…

It will hurt less… I'm a wild thing, putting on masks and pretending

I can be less than I am, desireandloveandprettythings

Maybe I can change, Love, let go of me.

It will never be worth it, not like this

With my broken smile and broken limbs, I am damaged goods and

I couldn't be free if I were a bird with wings…

I'm a disaster, a car crash and

You will be happy to be done with me…

So I'll run

Runrunrunning until my breath is out of me…I promise. I want the best thing for you

And that was never us, just me, I, and a handful of

maybeIcan'tgetthroughthis