all these words are
impotent, powerless against
the futile battles i fight
in the name of fake love.

i say never far too often when i
don't believe it, i just want to hear you say
i'm wrong. tell me i'm right and
that this hope isn't wasted.

(i've lost mine, by the way
finally, it's like breathing without lungs.
it's like decaying because
you were one of the few things
i chose to live for today,
and now you're gone, still here,
but gone for me.

and he was never there
to begin with, so what's the point?
he's living the dream,
so never mind, i won't interrupt,
never you mind.)

i wish i could heal everyone you've hurt.
i wish i could heal, you,
too. broken boy with no
eyes, completely blind, blinded,
i hate you sometimes, but then my heart reminds me
how amazing you are.
reminds me of your laugh, your smile,
the way you talk and
everything about you i
fell in love with, all the good things,
and i love the bad things to,
even if they hurt me.
even if they hurt her, and her
and her, all of them. you
don't know.

i'm not worthy, though.
i've realized that bad things happen
to good people, she deserves you
more than rosie or i or
even your wife.

(and it hurts so much to say it,
because you're all i could ask for
you're the most brilliant,
imperfectly-perfect boy i've ever
met. i only wish i could glow
nearly as bright as
you do, compare, perhaps match.
but only she can do that, if anyone,
if anyone.)

i fall in love too easy, i guess,
or maybe it's just too easy to fall in love with
you.

(sometimes i wish for falling, wish for the release,
wish for falling through the air to give me some relief,
because falling's not the problem, when i'm falling i'm at peace,
it's only when i hit the ground that causes all the grief.)

-x-x-
a.n. last parentheses paragraph from falling by florence + the machine