This is my first (published) story please give me feedback and criticism
This is me, Terff.
I am preparing to destroy Yalvn the beast from the hole with my brother Chinglao the Dragon God.
So I and Chinglao the Dragon God decided we needed something to eat. Chinglao the Dragon God wanted rice but I wanted a taco. So we went to Supnaipichikai Rice Taco Bar and Grill. We enjoyed the spicy rice tacos, especially Chinglao the Dragon God.
Just then I remembered that I must complete the task that is ever growing nearer to our direction. Chinglao the Dragon God and I must kill Yalvn; Yalvn was fat, fatter than Chinglao the Dragon God.
Considering how fat Chinglao the Dragon god is he was slowing me down. I decided to kill him in his sleep.
I was finally ready to fight Yalvn. I used Chinglao the Dragon God's body as a meat shield. I threw Chinglao the Dragon God aside and charged at Yalvn. Yalvn was unprepared and fat; he could not dodge my stealthy attack. Yalvn fell and made a slight indentation in the earth.
Yalvn was vulnerable to another strike but because he realized this he sent his man-bear-pig slaves to attack me. Yalvn's man-bear-pig slaves viciously attacked me so I offered them a few pieces of chocolate cake. They angrily declined my offer so I killed them.
Yalvn and I were head and head prepared to kill each other but he was fat and I wasn't so I had the upper hand in this dual!
I unsheathed my bladed with derp inscribed on the blade in Latin. Yalvn stepped back in shock but quickly regained his fat, stern face.
He readied himself but I quickly jumped at him and slashed his nose he flinched but then lunged at me. His fatness stopped him and gravity got the best of him, he face planted and became enraged.
A massive Worm Lord ripped its way out of Yalvn.
"I am the truth behind Yalvn; you can call me Yuckfou the Worm Lord." He said with a menacing look on his wormy face.
"Okay Yuckfou the Worm Lord, I challenge you to a dual where we stab and slash each
other." I replied with a serious glare at him.
"Okay then I was going to write a peace treaty but I guess a dual where we stab and slash
each other is more fun!" He said to me with a sarcastic tone of voice.
I walked up to the Worm Lord and cut it in half, it then died.
I felt successful a little too successful, so I proceeded to return home and hang myself.