First Kiss

There I wass... waiting for him again... He could be such a jerk sometimes, leaving me alone. I hate when he does that, he just prefers to be someplace else rather than with me, his girlfriend! That just pisses me off.

He doesn't even tell me cute stuff anymore... I wonder what changed... we were so much closer before he declared his love to me... maybe that's the problem; he never actually declared he loved me and he hasn't even told me that once since we became a couple and we already celebrated our fourth month!

It's not logical, we must be the weirdest couple alive... he hasn't even kissed me yet... Yeah, I know she told me to wait for him and not to kiss him myself, which is what I was expecting from the beginning, but how much longer should I wait?

Ah! There he comes, finally. For his face, I know he knows I'm mad, and I don't know if I want him to know that...

"I'm sorry..."

"For what? Running off to your friends and leaving me here alone? No problem, it's fine..." Actually, yes, I want him to know how angry I AM!

"Don't tell me that because you do exactly the same." Ouch. Surely I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting him to apologize again, I was expecting something else... This answer... kind of tells me that he doesn't really care if I am mad at all...

"You know? You should get your friends to teach you some rules on how to behave with your girlfriend, because you sure need them!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

AH! And he doesn't even know! "I mean that you always run off like that and leave me alone; you never say nice stuff to me, not even 'you look beautiful today;' you have never told me 'I love you' once... you never come looking for me, I always need to go looking for you; and you know what? I am tired of it. Yes, you have done nice stuff too, and I don't complain about that; but you still have a lot to learn about relationships. Let's say you are doing 'good' in our relationship; I want a 'great.'" I said, almost yelled, full of anger.

Just how long had I been holding that? I don't know, but I shouldn't have said it; I hurt him and I can see it in his eyes. How do I know he is not trying hard? How do I know he isn't just shy? What is wrong with me? I am such a mean girl... yelling stuff out of the blue... Oh, no; my eyes are filling with tears... I don't want him to see me like this.

"I'm sorry..."

(I run off in the opposite direction)... Yes, I was a coward, but I can't handle the damage I've made... I just said too much. I didn't taught about how nice he's always been to me, about he always worries and comforts me when I cry; how he is always there for me, without matter the problem... He is my best friend.

I'm so screwed! I screwed it big time now! I'm sure we're over, I' sure we are over! He is so going to break up with me...

(I kneel and hug my knees) This can't be happening, this really can't be happening. I just can't lose him like this for such a stupid argument. I really shouldn't have started up the fight, it's not worth losing him...

"Finally, I caught up to you..." What? (I look towards the voice and see him behind me. I stand up quickly and try to run, but he grabs my hand) "No, I won't let you run this time. You should have told me this sooner."

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing, that won't solve the problem."

"..."

"Now... let me explain... I don't tell you nice stuff because I can't describe my thoughts with words, and telling you just 'you look beautiful today' isn't enough; I run off with my friends to ask for advice, because you're right, I have a lot to learn; I never go looking for you because I'm so scared of losing you, that I try to give you your space... but I guess I just gave you too much of that, didn't I?"

(I nod. He pulls me closer and hugs me tight.) "I 'm sorry. I promise I'll try to get better, I try to get that 'great' you want so much" (I return the hug and we stay there a few minutes.)

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, you are my girlfriend after all, and I should treat you properly." (We break apart the hug and stare into each others eyes. We near our heads slowly, with our eyes locked between each other, and we kiss, for the first time ever.)

Is this true? Am I not dreaming? I hope not, and if I am, I hope to never wake up.