Fat

I'm not fat

I'm just skinny with more meat

I'm not fat

I just have more baby flab than you do

I'm not fat

I'm just bigger set than you are

I'm not fat

I just have a bigger heart, which therefore makes me heavier

I'm not fat

I'm just an athlete and have more muscle than you do

I'm not fat

I just have a big, smart, heavy brain

I'm not fat

Which is why I'm writing this, because

Clearly I am fat

And I'm about to change that