"You can't do that, you know."
"Yes I can."
"No, you can't."
"Because you can't."
"That's not even a reason."
"Yeah it is."
"Screw you, man."
"Uh-. Well that's just uncalled for."
"You're so freakin' annoying."
"I am not."
"Yeah, dude, you really are. Like, I don't even know you, and you're telling me what I can and can't do!"
"Well, that's what I do. It's kind of my job."
"That's a screwy job."
"Yeah, well, it's my job, not yours. So if you would let me do it properly now?"
"Whatever. Who are you, anyway?"
"...No one has ever really asked me that before. I am a social construct, thank you for asking."
"I just said you couldn't do that."
"Yeah, I know. I was there."
"Yet you continue to persist."
"Well, that's just- bleeurfgh."
"Really? I guess you're right. It is kinda bleeurfgh-y of me to do this, isn't it?"
"Oh, just let me do my job and do leave me in peace."
"Screw you, man. Screw you."
"No, you don't get it. You really have to stop doing that. That's not how things are done. I can't have you messing with the proper order of things."
"Why not? It's a free country after all."
"Wow. What an intelligent argument to make. Thank you so much for enlightening me on the current state of this nation's policies regarding absolute mind control. It's nice to know your will is still your own. I know it was kind of on the fence there for a while."
"Like I said, screw you."
"Yeah, well... Screw you, too. So, there."
"No, you can't say that."
"Why ever not?"
"Because that's not how it's done. You can't say shit like that. You're too 'proper' or whatever."
"But you keep saying that to me! What is so different between the two of us, that you can say that and I can't?"
"Because you're a snooty- what was it- social construct. And I'm me. So I can say things like "screw you" and you can't. It's just the way things are."
"Dude, you're so weird. Who even laughs that hard anymore?"
"It's just that-
construct and you didn't-
"I did not."
"You did! You decided that because I was somehow beneath you, a lesser being in your eyes, I couldn't say "screw you" because that is a right reserved only to someone like you."
"Screw you, man. Screw you and your 'social constructs'. Who even needs you and your kind anyway?"
"Ha! See? Do you see what you just did there? Ladies and gentlemen, the mother and the child are doing just fine. The birth went very smoothly. Congratulations, it's a stigma."
"Don't you understand yet? Because you are essentially shunning all so-called 'social constructs', with the potential of gathering a following of others who agree with your anti-construct views, you will then create a new social construct in which it is unacceptable to conform to stigmas created by past generations, spawning a whole new generation of veiled social constructs related to 'going against the man', while in fact continuing the age-old tradition of inclusion and exclusion that seems to persist so vehemently in your culture."
"...You can't just- Damn it."
"I think a more appropriate response would be 'All hail our invisible overlords: the social constructs.'"
"You are so full of shit, man."
"Oh, how lovely, more profanity. It's a good thing I showed up and not one of the older constructs. You'd be getting a whole new lecture about now. Luckily I was born of a more progressive host."
"Are you all this annoying?"
"It's not like I chose to be this way. Blame your culture's shit-obsession with right versus wrong."
"Ha! See? You did it again! Oh, you are more stupid than they usually are."
"Screw you, man."
"Oh, how marvelous. You've decided to fall back on an old classic. Not that I blame you, of course. I did just single-handedly destroy all hope you could possibly have of ever being successful in those oh-so grand and marvelous plans you drew up with your anti-establishment buddies."
"Wait! What are you doing? We've gone through this! You can't do this! It's not right!"
"You know what, man? Maybe you're right, and maybe we are stuck in this endless cycle of right versus wrong, and maybe we can never really get out of it-"
"Of course I'm right. It's my job to be right."
"But that's just it. The battle of right versus wrong has many different faces, and maybe we can't rip our way through all of them, but that doesn't mean we can't try."
"NO! I'M RIGHT, YOU ASSHOLE. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN RIGHT AND I'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT. SO YOU CAN JUST TAKE YOUR FINGER OFF THAT GODDAMN BUTTON AND LEAVE THINGS AS THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN."
"But you're forgetting one important thing."
"Screw you, man."
Somewhere far, far away from the deepest corners of one young man's mind, a button was pressed, lightly, but with all the determination of a man telling fate and destiny and all the providence off all the gods in the universe to kindly fuck off.
And for the first time in humanity's history, fate and destiny and providence listened.