i'm gonna run away from you.
the first time someone kissed me and meant it, i didn't speak to them for a week.
it was four years ago but
i still haven't gotten used to the feeling of someone caring enough to stay
without asking for blood and promises.
and if you say that you love me i'll probably ask you not to
cause i'm only good at staying with anyone who'll hurt me.

i won't believe anyone who tells me i deserve better,
i'll just look for the same old thing but with a different laugh
warmer hands
darker eyes
and better excuses.
i'm sure it was my fault this time.
she just had a hard day. week. month. year. life.
i'll make up more excuses for her than she could ever make for herself
and i'll run back so many times that she will come to understand
i will explain away every wound.
i don't know how to say no without smiling
i couldn't help but to let her blame me.
we agreed it was my fault.
i can't stop thinking it was my fault.

forgive me.

but if you decide that you're gonna love me
know that i'll run.
it's in my blood like a cancer.
but if you care enough to stay
and don't make me promise

i'll try to come back.