If you saw me now

You'd be scared



Who have I turned into

I don't even know



I am not who I was

Not innocent

Not small

Not naïve

I grew up

And I hate it

I want to be small


When boys didn't want to

Hurt you

Or touch you

Or take you away

I want to be a little girl

To play in the flowers

And dance in the rain

Without a care

Nothing mattered then

Not school

Not boys

Not anything

Can I go back

And tell myself

To watch out

And be careful

I know I can't

But I want to

So badly…

So very badly

But that was me then

And this is now

You can't change

The past

No matter

How terrible

How scary

How evil

I may not be who

I want to

But I am glad

To be me