Hi! this is a code thingy my friend and I wrote a couple of months ago, acutally I think it was last year but whatever. I think it's awesome and funny to read as my friend wrote most of it while I came with ideas so yeah enjoy! but don't post it anywhere else or anything like that, it belongs to us and we use dit in a prank... so it's important that the person who got pranked DOESN'T find out about it ;)

have a lovely read!

Girl/boy-friends code:

PART 1: Boy 2 girl (Lessons on how to not be a douchebag):

#1: Girls do not like being physically hurt in any way. This includes punching, slapping, pinching, pushing, etc. This does not make you seem strong or masculine at all, if

that's what you might think, and it's not funny for the female race. It just proves you're a douchebag and the only thing you'll probably achieve is becoming severely

unpopular amongst the girl(s) you hit and her friends, if she tells them or they see you doing it. You should ultimately save that fist to the guy you know treats her like

shit, even though girls don't like violence that much even when it's for "justice".

#2: Girls appreciate manners. Even though it's the 21st century, girls still like boys that open doors for her, helps her if she's carrying something heavy, etc. If she buys

you food or something else, you're expected to thank her with a hug or a genuine smile added with a "Thank you very much!". If you do not remember to thank her,

she's allowed to be annoyed at you for quite some time. Do not thank her the same way you thank your bro's; with a typical poker-face "Thanks."

#3: Don't comment on her facial imperfections. Girls check their face in the mirror every morning before they attend school. If she has a zit, red nose or flaky skin (etc.),

she's perfectly aware, and does not need to be reminded of this by you, as she can't remove this flaw and her self-confidence probably is already pretty hurt that day. If

she has something nasty stuck between her teeth, telling her might be nice though, as she can actually remove this and you would be helping her out. Fantastic.

#4: Don't be afraid to show feelings or femininity around girls. And by femininity I don't mean the "gay drag-queen guy who wears makeup and loves fashion"-kinda-

feminity some guys might think of when they connect the two words "guy" and "femininity", but rather a guy who has traits like empathy, kindness, care. And if you've

ever cried watching a movie, it's really nothing to be ashamed of. Girls like to know that you have a pounding heart in there.

#5: Don't give a girl a reason to want revenge on you. She might just strive for it really bad, and even though not all girls are bitchy or thought-through enough to plan

a perfect, sweet revenge, there might be more than you think.

#6: Girls get easily offended. Which you might have picked up by the few rules that you've read already, if your boy-brain has got the capasity of it. It might be

something as simple as ignoring her (even when you didn't do it on purpose) when she's trying to tell you something. Examples of other things are: saying things to her

in a rude/careless way, offending her girlfriends, not answering her texts, not wanting to answer a question, etc.

#7: Do not answer her in a careless way. Especially not if it's something you can see on her face was something she really wanted to tell you/talk to you about. If she

says something to you and expects you to say something back, a confused "Okey..?" and walking away is something she can be annoyed at you for. Give a little effort

in the conversation, especially if she does when you talk to her, okey? It's polite to do so.

#8: If you don't understand what she's saying, tell her to repeat, and don't answer something stupid you haven't thought twice about. You probably will regret.

#9: If she says "I'm cold", "I'm sad" or "I'm afraid" (etc.) directly to you, it's not just for the heck of it. She wants you to do something about it if you can, or atleast ask

her to tell you more about what's wrong.

#10: Do not use her secrets against her. Yes, some douchebags do this, and if you seek a friendship with a girl who actually tells something secret to you, you do not

want to misuse this trust. Girls don't easily tell guys secrets about themselves, so you should be privileged that she did.

#11: Girls don't like too much noise. Yes, this counts for even the most outgoing and noisy of girls too. People on the other side of a giant room don't need to hear your

conversation. This is especially embarrassing for girls if you're talking about something perverted.

#12: Just because she's mad, doesn't mean she's on her period. Even though the chances are she might be, she can still just be pissed at you, other people or the

world. For some reason, guys probably just think that's an easy way to conclude why she's angry, when (I can almost guarantee), there's a lot more behind it then what

you think. And if you say this directly to her face ("Are you on your period or something?", "PMS much?", etc.) she probably get's even more mad at everything, period or

not.

#13: Don't be too vulgar. Some girls like some perverted talk and crazy shit, while some girls don't like it at all, so you have to consider that. But don't be too vulgar

anyways, this seems selfcentered and a bit childish.

#14: Do you have a talent? Are you especially good at math, history or biology? Great! Girls admire smart boys, and you will get a lot of respect for this as their friend.

But don't think that this means you should talk about this one subject all the time, because then everyone will be both sick of you opening your mouth and the subject

you're talking so fondly about.

#15: Appreciate them. A lot of girls are really nice friends, in a different aspect than your bro's. If she's a really nice person, she can help you out when you're in

trouble, listen to you when you need to talk, give you advice, believe in your ambitions and have respect for you. Try to be on the same page as her in a way, or else

she'll get confused. I know that it can be really hard for boys to understand girls alot, but that's exactly why patience is a virtue.

#16: Don't make them worry without reason. Are you joking about all the hardcore-shit that you do and get in trouble for, taking your own life, hurting yourself or

something like that? A girl does not find this funny. Ofcourse she doesn't want you to get in trouble. And she does not like the thought of you being depressed. So if

you're not; don't joke about it. Mental illnesses and cutting is a rising issue amongst young people these days, and not to be joked about all the time.

#17: Don't think you're better than everyone else. And sometimes, you might not think like that, but your behavior makes it seem that way. This just turns most girls

off, and I'm not talking about it in that way.

#18: Don't embarass her. Have you ever felt how it's like to be embarassed? Especially in a group with other people? Not always that fun, is it? It's not for her either,

and even though she might not say something, she can still be hurt on the inside. So yeah, don't embarass a girl.

#19: If you're mad at her, explain why. If you ask a girl why she's mad at you she will probably tell you. For some guys, this just doesn't seem like a good idea for their

dignity obviously.

#20: Do not forget her friendship. If you get to know a new, interesting girl you have a really good connection with, does this mean it's okey to forget your other

girlfriends? Ofcourse not, silly, that shouldn't even be a question inside the head of a really good friend. Old and good friendships should always be the most

appreciated, because they've experienced much more together with you than the other, more new friends. The old friends probably appreciate you in a more stronger,

emotional manner and know about all your flaws, but still want to spend time with you. So why mess up such a good and true connection? If you've already defied this

rule, slap yourself in the face and think about all this again.

#21: Girls are not bro's, in any way. So don't treat her like one.

#22: Don't test their temper or patience. Do I even need to say anything more?

#23: Don't text on your phone while she's trying to interact with you. Just stop and think about it for a while. Is that text message really that urgent? 95% of the time,

it probably isn't. So when she's trying to talk to you about something, please do try to pay attention. I don't know how many rules I've told that has to do with the fact

that boys should really sharpen their focus on what happens around them, but fiddling with your mobile is even more disrespectful than looking dreamingly across the

room while she talks. So in all due to respect, keep that stupid electronic device in your pocket unless it's a goddamn emergency.

#24: Think before you speak. As a boy, have you ever heard about the word 'strategy'? Yes. You probably have plenty of times. While playing a first person-shooter

game you've probably used strategy a lot. In order to eliminate others with your weapon of choice without being a victim yourself, you need to use different tactics

including crouching, sneaking, running, aiming and reloading at the right time. But being in a conversation with a girl has to do with strategy to in a way, even though it

depends on what message you want to deliver. But the key word here is concentration, something that you also need while playing a shooter game. If only some boys

could center their attention on what girls are trying to say just the same way as they do with gaming, this world would've been a much better place to live in for

females, even though I know I'm asking for a lot here. Don't blurt out with a harsh remarks just because you don't get what she means. Thinking about your answer to

a girl's question or statement if only for five more seconds, could save a lot of pain. Not just for you, but for her too.

#25: Don't turn your back on her! This most importantly signalizes one thing to her: you don't even bother to give an effort anymore. Which also might lead to another

question in her head; is she being a bitch or are you just being a blunt idiot? First things first, you have to remember one fatal thing; girls care. Or else they wouldn't

walk up and start talking to you first, in the first place. You're her friend, and she cares about you. She doesn't think you're just some weird guy, she thinks you're

worthy paying attention to. But by turning your back and walking away in a conversation or fight, you're totally overlooking all of that. Through your actions, you're

basically saying that you don't care about her feelings, all you can think about is that you have no response to give back to her and no fucks left to give at all. It's like a

silent slap in her face.

PART 2: EXPLANATION OF FEMALE BEHAVIOUR (LESSONS FOR CONFUSED BOYS):

Q: Why do girls go to the bathroom together?

A: This seems like it has puzzled boys for quite some time now, but don't despair. To get to the answer of this you have to think from a female perspective.

Public bathrooms aren't fun for girls. Most of us hate the thought of someone standing on the other side of the door, listening to the embarassing sound of us peeing,

and we just want it over and done with. It just doesn't offer the same comfort as the bathroom at home usually does. Most public bathrooms are also dirty, and the

thought of how many people who have been sitting - doing their own business - on the exact same toilet seat as you isn't actually very nice, right? I don't know what

boys feel like about this, but I think most girls try to avoid it as much as they can, but if you gotta go, you just gotta go, right? Having one of your fellow girlfriends with

you just feels a lot less awkward. It's also a nice way to just chat a little and check your face, hair and make-up in the mirror together. When you're going out, on a

social event, girls go to the bathroom for a 'break', you could say. Like commercials inbetween a show on TV.

There's nothing more special about the girl's bathroom, than the boys', maybe except the fact that.. it might be a tad bit cleaner. There's no rituals or something of the

sort.

Q: Why do girls think so much, and analyze the most stupid things down to the smallest detail?

A: This is a hard question to answer, even as a girl myself. Some girls are more affected by this than others, but most of us do this from time to time.. or all the time. It's

like an infection in the brain to be honest. Girls can just make things seem a lot more dramatic and special than they really are, which is probably why girls have the

super-ability to blow things out of proportions, no matter how meaningless or pathetic the subject is. If this is something girls are more or less born with, or if it's

affected by society is hard to tell. Examples of this:

1. One of the boys has a conversation to a girl he might not usually talk to that often? "Oh-my-good, he totally likes her! Oh look, his body is leaned towards her; he's

totally attracted to her.. And he smiles!"

2. Has a boy had his mouth shut for more than three minutes in a group of people, just staring at nothing?

"Is he sad? I think so. What does he think about? Is he in love with someone? Does he have family problems? Should I say something to him? Is he mad?"

Q: Why do girls remember mistakes you did a long, long time ago?

A: This is to make sure you can't blame them for something in an argument. Are you accusing her of joking about calling you gay? In this situation, the female brain is

working hard. She pulls together all the memorable negative things you've done or said to her (cause she does not forget, my dear), and within a couple of seconds,

has found a perfect saying or action she can use against you. Then, the girl might say: "Well, three months ago, you asked what had happened to my face!" Or maybe

she started to stupidly dance around and you looked funny at her and asked what she was doing? A girl might answer: "Well, atleast I'm not the one who jumps in

front of a bus!" It's a way of defending themselves, even though it is stupid to use things people have done in the past against them later, as they've probably learned

from it. Hopefully.

Q: Why can't girls ever just accept a compliment they get?

A: This depends on who tells them. If a girl says to another girl; "You're so pretty!", a girl sometimes does say a genuine "Thanks", but sometimes she doesn't really

buy it, especially if the compliment is from another girl who the girl think is way prettier than she is. Ofcourse she knows she's not ugly, but girls oftenly think that the

other girls look better than they do. "That girl has prettier eyes than I have. And that girl over there has so nice skin, why can't I be like that to?" So that's where the

"No, YOU'RE the pretty one"-thing guys complain about starts.

Some girls are also quite two-faced and just says another girls pretty. Maybe a girl colored her hair and knows it got quite screwed up, so if another girl says it looks

nice, then that's just weird. Or if you just look like you normally do and they say you look fantastically outstanding today.. like it's not a genuine compliment, it's more

like an impulse.

If it's a boy, a girl can most oftenly tell if he means it or not by the way he says it. Boys are, most oftenly, bluntly honest.. in good and bad. And boys don't throw

compliments around a lot either, which is a cold fact, so if a guy does it, a girl is pretty sure to accept it. Atleast if she knows she looks ok that day.

Lea Sangolt and (Emmie)

so! I hope you enjoyed this and remember to review about your meanings. do you have ruled to add? then great! we're from norway so our rules are based on our society where we live and go to school, therefore this might be a bit different from what you think is right. anyways, see ya later aligator!

-Remembrance