It started with him

He would say,

As long as I can.


He trust himself

Trusts us

And says,

A long time.

Not forever

But he talks of

Living together

Being together

For as long as

We live


I am scared

I do not trust myself

I do not trust perfect

Because whenever it has seemed perfect

It slips away

Falls apart

So fast

When he mentions

Living together

My mind


Creates a story

Of what our life will be

What I so badly want it to be


As I said

I do not trust perfect

The pessimist in me

The pessimist I have been my whole life

Tells me

To not think about it

To not invision it


It will likely

Never happen


Is so wonderful

So fulfilling

I never want to leave his presents

I love him


Is so wonderful

So caring

So giving

He loves me


The one thing

That is in my mind

Whenever he mentions


Is this,

It is easy to be deeply in love after four months

What about

Four years?

For decades?

When will we fall out of love?

When will I have taken from you all you have to give?

When do I make the stupidest mistake of my life?

When? When? When?


Don't know when

Don't know how

Don't know if

I only know that


I must trust myself

Trust the love that binds us together

So that

We can be happy

I have

Never really thought about the future

Rough ideas and dreams

Do not count

And I can't help but wonder

If we will survive

Fit in

With the paths our lives will take

I can only hope

Only dream

Only wish

Only will with all my heart

That our paths

Are always

Side by side