I hate how when I'm with them I can't help but smile.
I hate how they make me want to die no matter how hard I try.
I hate how.
I hate how everything is so screwed up.
I hate how I can't help feeling like this.
I hate how nothing makes sense anymore.
How nothing makes me feel better.
But most of all, I hate myself,
For feeling like this, for hating them, how I envy the ones I judge for the things they do.
There my best friends, yet they hurt me the most.