Father, hear my prayer

I asked my God as I sat in the hospital room, holding my friend's pale trembling hand, to help me help Luke.

I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You

I took in a breath, then let it out. I couldn't do this, I just couldn't! What if it ruins our friendship! No, I tell myself, this will only make our bond stronger.

I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

Luke smiled at me faintly.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I choked out.

"How's school without me?" He asks, his deep hazel eyes, sunken into his head. A strangled chuckle left my throat. I quickly covered it with a cough.

"Boring. It's no fun with you there. Especially whenever I make a mistake in biology," I mock complained to him

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes

Come on, I urge myself. You can do it. You can do it.

But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

But the words get stuck in my throat, and I can only see Luke and his pale body surrounded by the glaring white and unforgiving bright lights of the hospital.

'Cause here I go again
Talkin 'bout the rain

"Oh Luke. It rained yesterday. Twas so pretty," I told him.

"Really. I wish I could have seen it," he murmurs softly.

There's a lump in my throat, and I swallow thickly. I quickly count and keep on counting until I got to 100.

"Me too," I whisper just as softly. His thin fingers intertwine with mine.

And mulling over things that won't live past today

And as I dance around the truth

"Yeah. Also, Carrie and Danny broke up today at school. There was a huge meltdown between them in the middle of the caf," I told, informing him the most trivial and unimportant thing that happened today. I mentally hit my head against the walls.

Time is not his friend

I remember the day that my mom got the phone call. Her face immediately went pale, and her hand trembled. I heard the faint click of the other phone disconnecting, then a crash of her dropping the phone.

"Mom?" I ran to her, and saw her clutching the wall for support. I gently led her to the couch. "Mom? What's wrong? Is dad alright?" She turned her face to me. And I gasped, there were tears streaming down her face.

"It's Luke," she gasped. "He's come down with a severe case of Leukemia."

The following week, I was excused from school, and mostly spent my week in my room. Staring at the ceiling. Now, eight weeks later, Luke's condition wasn't getting any better, and he was running out of time.

This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love Him
But here I go again, here I go again

I just couldn't bring myself to speak to him about my faith. Even though both of our families were close, religion was a closed subject. There was an unspoken agreement that my family wouldn't try to convert the Carlson's to Christianity, the Carlson's were very touchy about that topic and normally didn't like Christians. We were the exceptions, as we didn't try to convert them, and we weren't up front about non-Christians.

Lord, You love him so, You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe; he will never die

Why couldn't I speak to Luke! I have to! If I don't–! He may end up in Hell. I couldn't let that happen to him! Because! Because! Why did I care so much for Luke again? Because he saved me. I reminded myself of all the times he was there for me. It was my turn now. But why was it so important? I searched and searched in my mind. Until I stumbled upon this crazy, but true, conclusion.

I love him.

I love Luke.

But how then will he know what he has never heard
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

Even though my family is Christian. I sure didn't act like it around my friends at school. Especially around Luke. He wouldn't believe in God. Not from me.

This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him

But I had to try. I had to.

This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him

If I don't. What will happen then?

You love him, You love him

Lord, I prayed. Lord, you love Luke so much more than me. So much more. Please help me Lord.

What Am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes

I entered the hospital room, and gave him my best smile. I tried to think about my goal, and my promise to myself.

But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

What am I so afraid of? He already knows I'm a Christian, he's already accepted me as his friend. So why am I being so dang cowardly!

'Cause here I go again
Talkin 'bout the rain

"Did it rain again last night?" Luke asked me, his eyes closed, so I couldn't see their expressions. I nodded, then realized that he could see me.

"Yeah." I said, then I winced. My voice was very hoarse. Probably from the sobbing into my pillow ordeal that I've been doing the past few nights.

And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth

"Carrie and Danny got back together again," I told him. Then I mentally hit myself, as I brought up those two idiotic people.

Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him

I tried to bring in a breath, but it was only coming out in short pants. Like I was hyperventilating.

That You love Him
But here I go again, here I go again

"Hey Kara?" Luke asked me, looking up at me with his hazel eyes. "Can you tell me about Jesus?"

I think I almost cried with relief, and began to tell him about the baby born in a feed box, surrounded by smelly animals and just as smelly shepherds, who, even though he was just born, was about to be hunted down by a jealous King.

A/N: Yeah... So that was an actually fun one to write, even though I was close to bawling my eyes out. Please listen to the actual song. It's called Here I Go Again by Casting Crowns.