I was stepping into the school building for the first time. I had been sick on the day for freshman orientation and was left to find my way around the school on my own. I knew that I was going to get lost between every single class, but I would have done that even if I did know where I was going. My sense of direction was just horrible!
I stepped through the doors and froze when I saw him. I could tell that he was older than me, but I didn't care. He called to me. Maybe it was those pale longing eyes or the way he sat there with his arms resting on his knees so nonchalantly while he was so tense. I didn't know, but I just couldn't keep my feet from carrying me over to him. I wouldn't have considered him attractive, he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't my type either.
He looked up from the stairs he was sitting on as I neared. I could tell by the way his body became rigid that he was frightened. It wasn't that I looked threatening and that just broke my heart. Why would he be so frightened? Poor boy…
He blinked a few times before he relaxed and just kept his gaze on me. Those eyes. They were so deep, so tormented. I could see an old worn soul, but he couldn't have been any older than sixteen or seventeen. What had happened to him to make him so timid?
I held my hand out to him and smiled, "Hi, I'm Felicity, but everyone calls me CiCi. I'm a freshman."
His gaze darted to my hand before he looked up into my eyes again. He was watching me to make sure I wouldn't hurt him. What had happened to him! Finally, he took my hand and my eyes grew wide as I felt how light his touch was. His hand was twice the size of mine, I was a bit small, and yet there was virtually no strength in his hand, "I'm Derik," his voice was light, airy almost, "I'm a junior."
I smiled. A junior. Maybe if I got in good with him I would be able to go to the prom all four years of high school. I knew it was the wrong thing to go through my head, but that's what I thought, "Are you new here?"
Derik nodded, "Yeah," he pulled his hand away and looked down at his hands in his lap. He didn't want to talk more, but I just couldn't bring myself to pull away from him. He just called to me and I couldn't let him go.
I looked up from my notebook as Derik strummed on his guitar. I couldn't believe I was starting our story. It made plenty of sense. Enough happened to us over the years, but it was still amazing to think that we'd been friends for so long. He was my Derik and I wasn't sure what I would do without the man. And he didn't even buy me booze! (I had to go to Markus for that…)
Derik palmed his guitar as he cocked a curious brow, "CiCi?"
I shook my head as I smiled, "Just thinking about the first day we met," I pushed my notebook away and slipped off the couch so I was sitting on the floor at his feet, "Did I ever tell you the first thing that went through my head when you told me you were two years older than me?"
Derik cocked his head to the side, "What?"
I laid my head on his knee as I closed my eyes, "I was excited that I might be able to go to prom all four years of high school."
Derik chuckled as my mind started to wander back to that first day.
It was lunch time. I was standing with my few friends from middle school when I saw Derik sitting on the steps with a book open in his hands. I couldn't believe I was seeing him again and I couldn't believe that he was reading. Did he not want to make friends? Did he have any friends?
I shrugged the questions off as I found my way over to him. I sat down on the steps next to him and rested my elbows on my knees, "Hi, Derik."
Derik jumped and the book slipped from his hands to land at my feet. I picked up the book and felt bad about what I had done. I didn't realize he would be that jumpy, "CiCi," I could hear the fear in his voice and I felt even worse. How horrible was I?
I handed the book back to him and our hands touched. It was right then that I knew that he was going to become very important to me. Even if we never did anything. This boy was going to be a major part of my life for a very long time.
I smiled as Derik started strumming again, "Do you believe in destiny, Derik?"
"Mmhmm," he continued to play and I started to recognize his favorite song, Picture Perfect (In You Eyes) by 10 Years.
I loved to listen to him play. He wasn't that great, he was more of the intellectual type and would rather have a crossword, but when he needed some time to just zone out he picked up his guitar and played. The man didn't know a single chord. He played by ear and that made it that much better to me, "I think we were destined to be together."
Derik palmed his guitar again and I looked up into his pale green/brown eyes. The man was just so timid and it made me hurt every time I saw that look of indecision in those beautiful eyes. He should have been confident. He was super intelligent and after he healed completely from all of his bruises he had become quite a looker, "CiCi, are you okay?"
I nodded as I sat up and placed my hands on his knees, "Fine," I smiled, "I'm sorry. I'm taking a trip down memory lane. Just thinking about how much you've changed since you met me."
Derik chuckled as he sat his guitar down on the floor next to the chair, "I've become an entirely new person," he placed his hands on mine, "Because you wouldn't stop bothering me."
I smiled, "Oh, poohey on you!" I pulled away as I laughed at him, "Do you mind it now?"
Derik shook his head, "No, but back then I tried to figure out how to get rid of you," he shook his head as he leaned back in his chair, "So, CiCi, did you just come over to listen to my amazing musical skills or do you want to hang out?"
I stuck my tongue out at him, "I actually came over because I need your help with my latest report. I figured that since you're such an amazing reader and all," I jumped to my feet and hurried over to the door where my bookbag sat, "I want you to read over my report and tell me what you think!"
I spun around to head back over to him, but he was standing right behind me causing me to jump out of my skin. I hated how he could do that. Some how he could move silently and he used that all the time. He could be such an eerie person and I didn't know better he would frighten me. But I knew Derik. He had the kindest heart of anyone I knew. He never said anything bad about a single person. He didn't even say anything bad about his father…
"CiCi," Derik's large hands rested on my shoulders and I groaned. I should have known he would be able to see the pain etched in my face, "are you okay?"
I tossed my report onto the couch and wrapped my arms around his waist. I hated thinking about my best friend's past. I hated to even contemplate what happened, but it happened and he was constantly haunted by the experience. It was because of such a past that he had been cut and nearly bled out in front of me because he didn't feel it, "Derik," I buried my face against his chest. Maybe memory lane wasn't where I should have been right then.
Derik ran his hand over my braid as he other arm wrapped around me. This man was so slender and so frail, but he had been through so much. He didn't deserve such a past. He deserved so much more, "Hey, CiCi, talk to me. What's wrong?"
I turned my head to the side so I could rest my cheek against his shoulder, "I was down memory lane and remembered what happened to you. I wish I could kill your father!"
Derik sighed as he shook his head, "He's paying for his actions, CiCi, don't worry about him. Just think about the fact that I'm here now and I'm fine."
I nodded, "Derik, I love you and just can't stand thinking about anyone hurting you," I pulled back so I could look up into those pale eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm just a wee bit emotional. It's that time of month."
Derik laughed as he pulled back, "CiCi!" he shook his head, "I really don't need to hear that!"
I shrugged as I laughed. I couldn't help myself. He was just so cute when he was flustered, "You know you're going to know. You are my best friend."
Derik rolled his eyes, "Right," he stepped back over to the chair and sat down as he picked up his guitar, "Why are you so worried about this project?"
I stepped over to the couch and gathered the papers that were strewn across the couch. Maybe thinking before acting should become a regular thing for me… Highly doubt that happening anytime soon, "This is for my creative writing class and I need to pass. If I get a really good grade in this I will have the confidence to actually publish something," I started to organize the pages and my eyes grew wide as I realized my biggest mistake, "I forgot to number the pages!"
Derik sat his guitar down before he pushed himself to his feet again. He stepped up behind me and reached around so he could take the fifteen pages from me. I leaned back against him as his hands brushed mine. I wasn't sure why nothing ever happened between us. I could feel the obvious sexual tension, but he always kept me at a distance. It was almost as if he was afraid of anything happening. It wasn't like he was afraid of getting close. We were as close as two people could be.
Derik sighed as he pulled away, "Why don't you go lie down. You look like you need a bit of rest."
I nodded as I made my way through his apartment to his room. It wasn't that I wanted anything to happen between us. I knew that if we did start a romantic relationship that it would become extremely serious and if anything did go wrong that everything would go wrong.
And the thought of losing my Derik was unbearable…