A time ago, you remember the burning of body and mind as your soul was consumed, a raging inferno that destroyed your self and left your tormented mind to recover in a world that, for once, you yourself controlled. It might have been years ago, or seconds, but time does not pass in the Abyss of your subconscious. Someday, you will leave this place, but now, the pain is still fresh.
You cannot bring yourself to hate the One who has done this to you, though from what is left of your memories, you hated him passionately before. Another inconsistency, another strangeness of the dream that some call life.
You are in a constant dream, a nightmare world as inescapable as the sunrise. A part of you still rejoices in the challenge; another at the close approach of pain and the fresh proof that your avatar is invincible.
You love and hate the joyless world in which you are trapped, and the avatar that you know better than your body, that is your body in the endless dreamworld.
Some deep part of you, the part that actually feels the pain the avatar leaves behind like a puff of smoke, has already been driven to insanity. And the part of your mind that still thinks earth thoughts is rationally and coldly thinking that the rest of you cannot be far away.
The real world gets hazier every day, and the nightmare-world clearer. You wonder, in a detached way, whether this means you are dying in the real world.
You don't care. All you want is to stay in the dreamworld forever. It is hell to you, but it is also heaven, and you know that you cannot live without it.
You don't even know if you want to.