I think that was the day that jump-started everything. Or maybe it had been in motion since the moment me and Jayden had our first conversation. I don't know. Maybe I'll never know. But that day was important. The day of the twins. Jace was attractive, that was for sure. He had looks and style. He had the mystery that every new kid has. So, yeah, he was attractive. Did I care about him for those reasons? only reason I gave him a second look was because he bore a fine resemblance to Jayden.
Jayden, Jayden, Jayden. Jayden.
Way back when, in the sixth grade, I hadn't cared about Jayden. I didn't know his name, and honestly he kind of intimidated me. It didn't take much to intimidate me. He was of a higher social class than I, as I was at the bottom. I, the little nerdy girl. He was cool. Well, compared to me, pretty much everyone was cool. Then the next year brought our friendship together and somehow, I guess I caught him staring at me one too many times to be chalked up to coincidence. I had his heart. Soon after, I realized he had mine. Now I was rapidly approaching the end of my eighth grade year, and even though we'd gotten closer in the beginning of the year, I realized it wasn't ever going to happen, me and him. We hadn't talked properly in months. He didn't care about me anymore. Which is where Jace came in. Much like Jayden, I didn't quite realize the impact he would have on my life when I first saw him. I mistook the back of his head for Jayden's on the first day he came, then I realized Jayden was a little taller and his hair was more of a reddish-brown than a black than this other kids' was. That's right, I have Jayden's hair color down to the exact shade.
So my Jayden now had a little mini-me running around, did he? He looked younger. Not a big deal. But... it kind of was. I wanted to meet him. I wanted to talk to him and love him and he could love me, just like Jayden never would.
But that sounded desperate, and I don't do desperate. So I left that thought unspoken, even to my best friend, Laine. Besides, he could probably do so much better than me. I was still nerdy. I still wasn't good enough. That's probably why Jayden had stopped talking to me. Jayden had always been cooler than me, but suddenly this year he got better looking than me. He'd never been much of a looker, but that hadn't bothered me. He didn't have looks. But now he had them, and although I wasn't exactly complaining, it did bother me a little. For one, now he was on a completely different level than me. Like I didn't already have to deal with a best friend who was way more gorgeous than me, now there was him, prancing around attracting girls. Well, not exactly. His personality still needed a tune-up. He had a sweet side with me and some of his friends, but he was downright mean with most other people. I'm not sure why he had first softened his edges around me. He probably didn't even know then, but he was basically my best guy friend now and we'd gotten into tradition of being nice to each other, so we weren't about to break it. I remember a conversation I had with a boy named Jaime.
"Ew, it's Jasmine!"
"Hey, Jasmine is awesome," Jayden had said, sticking up for me.
"You know each other? Clearly not, or you'd know she's a terrible person," Jaime joked.
"She's nice to me," he'd replied simply, and I'd realized it was true. I thought about it. Me and Jaime, we'd been teasing each other since the first day we'd met. Whether it was over who was smarter or who had a better pencil, we were always throwing words at each other. In a light-hearted way, of course. But me and Jayden, we'd been partners in crime when we met. We'd got stuck sitting next to each other and he asked me for a pen so he could forge his mom's signature on a permission slip for something or other. Which, of course had reminded me that I needed to so the same thing.
I'm a nerd, but I'm not above mild signature forgery. I guess I'm kind of an outlier, actually. Nerdy enough to use the word 'outlier' in a casual sentence, but not strait-laced enough to actually do my homework every day.
Anyhow, that was the second time me and Jayden talked. We'd realized we'd somehow got stuck next to each other in math as well as science (and later on, we'd notice, history) and I'd copied his homework. I'd quickly realize I'd gotten lucky that day, as Jayden only did his homework once every blue moon. More often than not, after that, it would be him copying my work.
But now me and Jayden were not stuck next to each other in classes, and sometimes it seemed like we were on different edges of the universe. Which brings me back to Jace. I'd quickly written him off as unattainable. He'd quickly fallen in with Evelyn and her friends. I don't like Evelyn much, mostly because she talks to Jayden and pretty much every other guy way more than necessary. But I'm trying re-look my initial hate of her, because it really is undeserved, and also, Laine is becoming good friends with her.
Even though she didn't like Evelyn either at first, since she was spending way too much time with Izzy. But I guess she let that go after she decided Izzy was more her brother than anything else and then started dating Bryan. Now she spends every day after school with Bryan, and Evelyn, too, since Evelyn's friends with Bryan (of course.) I guess you could say I'm a little jealous. But I'm sure she's a lovely person.
If Bryan was cheating on Laine with Evelyn, Laine would probably stop being friends with her and then everything would go back to normal. Or, as normal as possible. She'd probably still take Bryan back, even though I don't like him much, either. But I have a good reason for that- he's cheated on her twice and this is their third go at a relationship. Laine's kind of an idiot sometimes, but I love her. Which is why I'm hoping her relationship will crash and burn and she'll start hating Evelyn.
I don't really mean that, of course. I really don't care if Evelyn wants to go around and steal my best friend. I can't really be too mad at her, because she tries to be friends with me, too, I'm just socially awkward. When we're alone, we usually just end up staring at each other until Laine comes back and starts a conversation. With Evelyn, not me. 'Cause I guess Evelyn's better than me or something. Yeah, that's it. Evelyn's better than me. She's cooler than me and prettier than me and she's who I wish I was but I'm not because I'm just me.
And that's why, even though I can't even get Jayden, I can't even get Jace. Not even as a consolation prize of sorts. God, it sounds terrible calling him that, but if I'm going to tell my story, it won't do to tell half-truths to make myself look good.
Why not go all out? Why not be painfully honest?