SINCE SEPTEMBER

The memories that have tried to kill me

The ones that have harmed me mentally

I feel as if they

Have now ceased their murderous ways

They have put down their weapons

And have stopped all projections

I have beaten them at their own game

And it only took one more dream

I lay myself down to sleep

Imagination waiting for me

I open the gate for my mind to roam

And end up in a familiar place I once called home

My old room feels brighter as the sun shines in

I feel true happiness begin to set in

I've come back again to my happy place

A feeling I'd like to think I've never had since 2008

It is like visiting an old friend that's been locked away

I am back to visit with hopes I could stay

I have television, games, figures and all

Everything I had before leaving that fall

I stand in the center of my old, small room

It feels hollow, I assume

All my belongings, scattered all over the place

Like a scavenger came and tore up the space

Though all of this soon feels like an illusion

I am inside of a mental prison

What I once knew as home and joy

Feels nothing more than a decoy

The feelings of home and comfort

Now turn into a sad disaster

I see all around me

The objects that are far from reality

I feel faint with every glimpse I catch of my once former self

I fall into a corner to sit down

I know that this setting is all unreal

But the sadness and tears feel awfully real

My memories are trying to kill me

They are hurting me residually

I can't help but cry

As they try to finish me off this time

The door is only a few feet away

An option that I can escape

But I would be leaving my true happiness behind

Even if all of this is in my mind

I do not want to die mentally, so I must leave

And I soon wake up from a nightmarish dream

I feel shook up

But I have won

I cannot help but feel ambivalent

As I think back to those times of happiness

I no longer feel scarred

And I realize I have come so far

Life has brought me new challenges for me

More importantly, new memories

It is a new place

But same objects and the same me

I can finally say that since that September

I have grown a lot stronger

I have closed the book on the past

But I will never forget as I look back

Oh, as much as I love you, old friend

I feel as this is finally the end

And though it may not be the last time I see you

Thank you