Author's Note: I don't have the story exactly planned out yet, but the beginning is going to be told in Siena's POV and the end in Fern's POV! I hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 1: Siena
Grab a hold of yourself and face those days where it feels like it always rains. The lyrics reverberate in my head as I continue driving down the back roads near my house. I grab my sunglasses from the console and press them on my face; another thing to help Fern from staring at me as he sits quietly in the passenger's seat. We've been through a lot together and I guess this is the end for us, but I'm not too sure I want it to be.
"Please. Please just try to explain what happened," I choke on my words. I don't want Fern to think that I'm getting emotional, but it's hard. How am I supposed to act normal when just the other day I woke up next to him and thought he was dead?
"I don't want to talk about it," he says monotonously, no anger in his voice. I don't know how he's so patient with everything; so calm. Sometimes I just wish he would get upset with me if only to give me a reason to stop caring, but he's not like that.
"I know it's hard for you, Fern," I try to blink back the tears, "but I don't think you realize how scared I was, that's not something that can just happen without an explanation." I wish I knew how to get him to open up to me, but the wall between us feels bullet-proof.
"Not now," he says, as if he's hurt that I'm asking, as if I'm the bad guy. It makes me mad, but there's only so much I can do. I don't say anything else for a while; I just listen to the song as it goes on angrily, only reminding me more of what happened.
Tripping over broken hearts and homes and getting close enough to turn that kid inside of me to stone. The song continues as if it's tormenting me and Fern because it knows what happened. I forcefully jab the power button that turns off the CD and we sit in an awkward silence.
"Listen, Siena," he says while running his long fingers through his long black hair, "I can't talk about this right now. You're driving me to go see Barrie right now; I just need to clear my head before I see her." But what he means is that he doesn't want to get angry before he sees her again, which I can't even imagine. Never have I seen Fern act out in anger, but after hearing how he threw his phone against a wall after breaking up with Barrie I don't really have any other choice but to believe it. This could potentially be one of the more awkward situations I've ever put myself in, but I want Fern to feel comfortable telling me this. I want him to trust me and I feel that, on some level, driving him to see Barrie is a small step in that direction.
Fern and I, well we're not anything special, but a part of me was starting to get to his nocturnal texts of asking me how my day was or if I wanted to smoke with him after a long day of dealing with stressful classes and obnoxious college kids. But we were beginning to reach another level where we both knew there was something there, could feel it like electricity. Now, though, I think that's passed a little bit and I'm going to have to wait until Fern sets things straight with himself for things to work…if they're going to. But that's too much to think of right now as I pull into Barrie's driveway and listen to Fern take a deep, nervous breath before opening the car door and slowly making his way to my ex-best friend's house.