thirteen months, it's all i can think
when did it get like this?
we weren't supposed to be so dysfunctional
that was supposed to end with him

but here we are again
where i can hardly stand to look at you
and you only have eyes for god, or church
or the idea of it
and i'm counting the months, hours, minutes

until i can escape.

funny, isn't it? in a tragic way
a divine comedy-tragedy,
laugh at the empty-handed,
empty-hearted humans
another dusty/rusty family
how heartbreaking, how interesting.

i have lost both my parents:
one to abuse, and now cancer, probably
and the other, to god. church. religion. obsession.
things could be worse, could always be worse,

but you know, they could also be a lot better.
and i'm so tired of "could be worse'