Ryan and the Orange Dragon

At the laboratory of Dr. George…

Dr. George is finishing up his time machine. His clock alarm rings.

Dr. George: Ooh, coffee break!

Before leaving Dr. George sets the dial on the time machine to medieval times.

Meanwhile at the Laundromat…

Ryan is behind the counter. A man walks in.

Man: Hello, I'm Mr. Scott. I'm here to pick up my laundry.

Ryan: OK. What did you have us clean?

Mr. Scott: I had a white shirt, white pants, and white socks.

Ryan: OK. One moment please.

Ryan goes to get Mr. Scott's clothes. He returns with a pink shirt, pink pants, and pink socks.

Mr. Scott: They're pink!

Ryan: Yeah. The white was so boring, so I put a red sock in the washer to make it more colorful.

Mr. Scott gets out a gun.

Mr. Scott: I'll kill you for this.

Ryan: Wait a minute, you can't kill me.

Mr. Scott: Why not?

Ryan: I don't have a rabbit's foot.

Mr. Scott: What, are you superstitious?

Ryan: No, bot it makes a very cozy hat when you're about to die.

Mr. Scott gives Ryan a rabbit's foot.

Mr. Scott: Anything else?

Ryan: Yes, I need a watch.

Mr. Scott: What for?

Ryan: For ticking people off.

Mr. Scott: Just for that remark I'm going to kill you and then feed your body to hyenas.

Ryan runs off with Mr. Scott following behind, continually shooting and missing. Ryan spots the open door of Dr. George's laboratory and runs inside. He gets inside the time machine and hits the red button. He then finds himself in front of a medieval castle. A knight comes up to him.

Knight: Who might you be?

Ryan: I'm Ryan.

Knight: Well, Ryan, we shall take you to the king to see what to do with you.

Ryan: OK, but make it quick. I have a hair appointment at 6:00.

Knight: You'll be lucky enough to make it to 6:00.

At the castle…

King: Who is this?

Knight: This is Ryan.

King: What did he do?

Knight: He's not dressed in medieval clothes.

King: Good point. Throw him in the dungeon.

Just then, a knight in gold armor runs in.

King: Ah, how has my best knight done against the Orange Dragon?

Gold Knight: I'm leaving this town!

King: What are you, a coward?

Gold Knight: I am now!

The Gold Knight runs off. Ryan gets an idea.

Ryan: King, if I defeat this Orange Dragon, will you set me free?

King: Well, I suppose so. Dave, take him to the knight training room.

Dave the Knight: Yes, your majesty.

Dave takes Ryan to the knight training room.

Dave gets out a mace.

Dave: OK. First off, this is a mace.

Ryan: I hate mazes. I always get lost in them.

Dave: This is going to be harder than I thought.

Ryan: Enough with the mazes. Show me the weapons.

Dave gets out a sword.

Dave: This is a sword.

Ryan: I've got a foot sore already. I don't need another one.

Dave: You know what, you're ready. You're just one of those people we don't care about losing.

Ryan: Then you don't care if I go back to my own town.

Dave: Just go after the dragon!

Ryan: Where is the dragon?

Dave: At Dragon Tower.

Ryan: what's the dragon need a towel for? I'm pretty sure it doesn't take showers.

Dave: Leave!

Ryan runs off.

At Dragon Tower…

Ryan spots the dragon sleeping.

Ryan: Wake up dragon! I'm supposed to fight you!

The Orange Dragon wakes up. The dragon snorts fire that just misses Ryan.

Ryan: OK, how about we don't fight? Instead, I'll use hypnosis.

Ryan gets out an old sock.

Ryan: If that old guy had given me a watch I'd be using that. Now, dragon, you are falling into a deep sleep.

The dragon falls asleep.

Ryan: When I snap my fingers, you'll wake up and speak English.

Ryan snaps his fingers. The dragon wakes up.

Dragon: Oh, hello.

Ryan: Hello dragon. Why are you destroying the town?

Dragon: I'm not destroying the town.

Ryan: Then why do people fear you?

Dragon: Because I don't like ham.

Ryan: That's it? Just because you don't like ham?

Dragon: That's the royal chef's specialty. It's too bad. I get very lonely up here.

Ryan: I have an idea. I'll hypnotize you into liking ham. Then people will like you and we'll all be happy.

Dragon: Good idea.

Ryan gets out the sock again.

Ryan: You're falling into a deep sleep.

The dragon falls asleep.

Ryan: When I snap my fingers, you'll wake up and like ham.

Ryan snaps his fingers. The dragon wakes up. The dragon smells ham coming from the medieval castle and flies off to have some.

Back at the castle…

King: I don't know how I could possibly thank you Ryan for making that dragon realize how good ham is.

Ryan: How about sparing my life?

King: OK. You're not going to be killed.

Dr. George zaps in.

Dr. George: Ah, so you're the one who used my time machine. Here, take this watch and you'll go back to your own time.

Ryan puts on the watch and finds himself back in Dr. George's laboratory. Mr. Scott walks in.

Mr. Scott: There you are!

Ryan gets out the sock.

Ryan: You're falling into a deep sleep.

Mr. Scott falls asleep.

Ryan: If only hypnosis worked like this in real life rather than just in these stories. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get myself lost in a maze.

Ryan leaves the laboratory.

The End