All these time, I've been telling myself to stop living in the past and to keep forging towards the unpredictable future that awaits me. I tell myself to not dwell on yesterday for they are the times that I'm never gonna get back. Sometimes I reminisce all the memories of the past and emotions start flooding as nostalgia sets in. I close my eyes and go back to that year, that wonderful year I was with 33 equally wonderful people. I try to call into mind the jokes, the innuendos, the laughter, the struggles we faced together as a class. And I miss it. I miss them. Although time cannot permit me to bring my physical body into that certain period of my life, I would give up my soul to relive those golden days. I'm quite disappointed to how it always turns out. Because when you're in the present tense and you talk about the future tense, you tend to forget about what you promise to never "let go". Bonds dissipate over the passage of time. Like a vapor, it rises up in the air and envelopes our body, making your skin tingle with humidity. I could still feel the warmth and yet I anticipate the rain. Slowly and surely, I feel that we are all letting go.
I now know that no matter how we say not to forget each other, one day, we will.
One cannot expect things to be the same ever again. People turn into people we don't know right before our very eyes and you don't realize that Father Time had already snatched a friend away from you. I long for their company. I yearn for that look in their eyes that I was once a part of their life. Sometimes I want to call their attention to me, for my voice to be heard. "I miss being friends with you," I want to say. But what difference would it make? It cannout unwind the clock and undo the choices we made. So I continue to pass you along the hallways as if we didn't use to see each other for ten months a year, 6 days per week, 11 hours per day. How is it possible for the memories to fade this easily? What if 10 years to this day, I wake up and would not even remember your first names? What if I somehow mixed you up with my new friends' faces? What if I saw you on the road and didn't turn to wave because my memory has somehow cursed me to forget all the things we've been through?
I am saddened by the thought. I am saddened by how every single detail crumbles into dust after the sun sets and with its rising, new memories arise that will also soon burn down. Sometimes I wish to never let another day go by. To live in this moment forever. With all of you. Yet sadly life teaches us to move forward and to avoid looking back too often. I concur, though, that looking back isn't so bad especially when the scenery behind you are hazy tantalizing blurry lights and picture-perfect images.
And now I sleep with eyes shut, my heart wide open to welcome the feelings I've felt with people who had the chance to walk with me in my life. They will always be a part of me. You will always be a part of me. Somehow I hope that a piece of myself has attached into your memory. I hope I'm the person I want to be remembered by. Because you all, were the best things that ever happened to me.
So this was a piece I wrote for my class in 3rd yr Highschool. Hope you learned anything from it. :)