Beck had been to my house once, many months ago after we had spent the day together, back when I thought he loved me, and wasn't just in it for the sex. In fact, I knew he loved me. He paced around the living room, looking at photos of my best friends and me, my family and even some of him and me from when we were together. He stared them down and shook his head. His arms stayed folded and firm against his slim, wide chest. I sat on the lounge in my pyjamas, yet for some reason I didn't feel awkward around him.
"Would you like something to drink?" I offered, jabbing my thumb toward the kitchen, and biting my lip. Beck stopped pacing and looked at me. The light in the room had been left off, and I wasn't going to turn it on just yet. It seemed that Beck was completely sober, and dressed just as he always was. A crisp white button up shirt that looked dashing on him, long black jeans with suede shoes, adorned by a silver dragon necklace, a watch and his facial piercings. I could see a faint flash in his eye as he looked at me, and I couldn't help but think of how innocent he was when we first met. How innocent we both were! But times had changed.
"Tea maybe." He said, looking away from me. As I got up to go to the kitchen, he stopped me. "Bella, do you even know what type of person Johnny is? You only met him tonight."
I frowned as he did, even though his frown hadn't left since he first got here. I kept going toward the kitchen.
"How would you know? He seems alright enough to me. And I met him a while ago." I smirked under the lie, and started moving around the kitchen, shouting back to the living room loud enough so Beck would hear me. I couldn't find a coffee mug anywhere. Suddenly, as I spun around looking for a mug on the dish rack, Beck was right behind me, underneath my feet.
"Hey!" I said, scowling at his tall frame. "Watch out, or don't scare me like that, at least."
He was so close I could smell his aftershave mixed with his own personal scent. I was completely oblivious to this, until I tried folding my arms and knocked his chest. I struggled to keep the anger on my face, and stop my cheeks from turning amber. Stuck facing in this small kitchen must've been awkward for him, but he didn't show it, he only scowled down at me, only slightly shorter than he was. His brown eyes were hard to avoid.
"Don't lie to me, Bella." He said staring straight back at me. "I can always tell when you lie."
I weave my way around him, moving to the dish rack and shuffling glasses.
"You don't know anything." I said, my nose twitching, knowing that was another lie. "I've changed, you don't know me anymore."
"We'll be here all night." Beck said, sighing and leaning against the counter top next to me. "Get me a Jack." I looked at him, shocked.
"You can't drink; you have to get home still." He shrugged nonchalant.
"I only asked for one." He wasn't being very friendly with me tonight, and it was rare for me to see him angry. Even when he was telling you off, he looked pleased about it.
I picked up the first scotch glass off the rack; admittedly I had been drinking a lot recently. Grabbing the Jack Daniel's from the cupboard, I poured it swiftly into the glass, and then thought twice, getting myself one as well.
"Johnny," Beck said taking his first swig of the alcohol. "Is a sick perverted bastard. He's retarded."
I scowled at him. "Hey! He is not. He seems perfectly fine to me!" I shout, drink wobbling in my shaking hand slightly.
"Well you're fucking stupid!" Beck shouted back at me, slamming his drink against the bench. "He is a stubborn bastard, Bella!"
I was yelling now too. "Fuck you Beck! You don't even know the guy!"
The small cramped kitchen was nowhere for us to fight. And I felt my anger rise in the small space, the white walls blurred around me seeming to fade as my concentration on Beck hardened. Now my face was burning red, my cheeks flushed, his face had turned a light red and violet colour in anger.
"Bella!" He yelled, grabbing my wrist. "You don't even know." He whispered the last words directly into my face, trying to set his meaning into stone. But all it did was make my heart race as I yanked my hand from his.
"No Beck, you have no idea." I heard the unintended double meaning behind my words, and I quickly left the room, tears brimming on my eyes. I rubbed my eyes, hoping he hadn't heard the double meaning and that he couldn't see me crying. I reached the lounge room and sniffed, as Beck slowly walked into the room. I had the feeling he knew. Of course he did.
"Bella," He said quietly reaching for my hand as I leaned against the wall in the dark room.
"What Beck?" I said, hoping he wouldn't see my face in the dim lighting the street lights let in.
"Please don't cry." He said, though his voice was awkward, not sympathetic, and this somehow made me angry at him, though I couldn't remain angry, as he pulled me into his arms, surprising me.
I felt my own tears drop onto his shoulder, and I closed my eyes tight, shocked. Beck leaned into my hair, holding the back of my head to his shoulder, breathing deeply.
I hugged him back. I gripped the back of his shirt tight in desperation, and closed my eyes, savouring the moment.
And then he sighed.
"I shouldn't be doing this," He said, moving away slightly. I took the message loud and clear. 'I shouldn't be getting close to you'. I moved away too, in sync and moved to the lounge.
"What do you want, Beck?" I say the mock in my voice heavy. He shook his head.
"Nothing. Just get some sleep or something." He gestured to the lounge and I lay back on it.
"Are you leaving now?" I asked, moving slightly further down the lounge chair, pulling up a pillow and resting my head against it.
Beck sat down at the arm of the lounge, leaning against it.
"No, I have to let the alcohol wear off. I actually finished mine only a moment ago."
I nodded, not realising how tired I really was. I fell asleep against the lounge, nuzzling my face into the pillow.
The last thing I saw, was Beck close his eyes, and let his head tilt to the side.