She sat there. Staring into space pretending to watch the movie that was. Glad that the teacher decided to put on a movie instead of teaching. Then an idea came stirring in her mind. She took a piece of paper and started to write:
As I sit here in class, thinking and pondering of all things that were, that are, one word came in my mind. "Move." Move where? Move here? Move there? I dare not think of placing the word "on" right after it. It simply was not an option. Faced with the reality of not seeing you again, but it is an option a person must take. An option I must take. An option I have to take.
It was all just words, she knew. She knew he would never come to understand her words. Love is more than words anyway and she was not able to show how much she loves him. Always words, she thought, never going to be able to express herself through actions.
You are the reason to live to continue breathing and smiling . The single thought of you can make me rise to the heavens above. The sound of your voice its like the heavenly choir singing only its one hundred times more beautiful than that and the glow of your smile is the guiding light through the all the times dark and happy. I love you so with all my heart. And until forever, my love will stay for you. You need a girl that can love you to your full worth.
Her chest feels hollow. Heavy, yet missing something. Like a ton of bricks fell on her while she is laying down. It pained her.
I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. When a time machine is built I will be one of the first to volunteer to return back to those times and change everything. Another chance I wish I can ask for, but another chance is something I can not have, something I should not have. I told you I will respect your decisions and I will do exactly just that.
Tears are falling now. Quietly she put her head down but continued to write. Careful not to attract any attention from the people around her. His words rang repeatedly in her head. "I won't let you walk along with me ever again, I wont let you see me in person ever again. I won't let you, even if you beg for me five times, or 50 times, or 500, or 5 million or till eternity."
I write this letter to wish you a happy a future. I know how much you love to be happy, so please do not let me get in the way of your happiness. You will find a better girl, a girl that will help you forget all the pain I have caused you. A girl that will make you more happy than I ever can and she keep you happy forever. I wish you all the happiness the world can hold.
She signed her name and folded the paper. She placed it in her pocket, to be forgotten until the end of the day. Once home she took that paper she had written that morning and placed it in a shoebox, keeping it safe until this weekend.
She took a trip the place when she first started liking him. Bear Mountain it was called. With no actually bears in sight though. They were there on a trip with the summer program. She had been there before though prior to the trip and she told him of this special spot she had found by the lake. A peaceful place to sit on rock and stare at the beauty of nature. However, she was never able to show him that spot. The program would not allow them to walk astray from the group. She walked there now passing the field which they talked. The field where she developed her crush on him. Memories of the past came flashing back of that moment in time, she continued to walk. When she finally reached the placed she stood on the huge rock over looking the lake. She took out the paper and a lighter, taken from her father's table top. She watched the paper catch on fire, starting at the corner. Careful to leave no traces of the paper behind, other than its ashes which is swept by the wind.
A letter you will never read
A letter you won't believe
A letter you will never see.