Alone


.

Note: And after almost six months, I'm back, guys. I fell upon a couple of the old Without You chapters that never made it into the officially drabble sequence, and Elijah started talking to me. Started telling me what he's been up to, and I thought you guys might enjoy hearing about it.

Life Support is going to go a bit differently than Without You did. Most obviously, it's not going to be strictly drabbles. Some of the chapters, such as this one, are going to be longer than the 100 words that some of you are used to. Now, that doesn't mean that some of the chapters won't be short as well, expect that some will be. But I won't be keeping myself within the 100 word limit anymore. I get the feeling that this one is going to be a bit more serious than Without You ever was, but I could be tricking myself.

For those of you who are only just showing up now, you don't need to read Without You for this to make sense. It's a standalone. But reviews tell me it's enjoyable, so you may want to go read it anyway.

It's still SLASH, so the usual warnings apply. If you don't like the depiction of homosexual love (oh, and omnisexual love, that's important too) then you might as well leave now.

I hope you all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed Without You.

.


Dropping one last box into the back of the car, I swallowed a deep breath of air. The smell of the car, the legendary Trans Am, lingered with the scent of fresh laundry and family. It assaulted my senses, and made me feel so very… alone… God, I was going to be alone! But I smiled brightly anyway, holding Logan close to my chest for a moment.

It hurt to let go.

"I'm gonna miss you, kid."

It shouldn't have, but it hurt.

"I'ma miss you too, Eli."

Stupid fucker was going to make me cry.

But not in his presence, no. I cleared my throat loudly, demonstrating my masculinity with how gross it sounded. Smiled vaguely at the curly mop of hair coming around the other side of the car at me.

"Gabriel." And son of a bitch, it hurt to let him go too, but I didn't let him know that as I pulled him in for one quick hug. Brief. Rough, like everything I did with him. "Stupid bitch."

"I love you too, asshole."

"Call me if you need anything, you understand me?"

"Yeah."

I tried so hard, but the words, "Call me even if you don't need anything, okay?" slipped out before I could stop them.

"I promise."

Promises. So many promises.

"No driving after dark," I tried to sound menacing, but the stupid brat's grin told me I was failing. Clearly I was catching a cold, and it was making my voice thicker than normal. "Get a motel or something if it gets too late."

"Yes mom."

"And no random handjobs, or blowjobs on the road. I almost crashed like that once. It sucks—"

"That's the point of a blowjob."

"—I swear to god, I'll beat you to death, Lo," but I laughed when I said it, taking some of the heat away from it. These were my boys. Striking out on their own like the adults they were quickly becoming.

Leaving.

Leaving me.

No.

It was only natural that I try to drag it out as long as possible, the goodbyes. Only natural that I rib, and tease, and torment the boys for as long as they would allow me to before they left. They were leaving—Don't think of it. But in the end no amount of conversation stopped my gut from twisting dangerously tight when Logan pulled off, waving with one hand out the window for as long as he could see me. Waving until he turned the corner and left me. For good.

Nothing about this was a surprise, I reminded myself as I slammed the apartment door closed behind me, sighing heavily at the sight of the empty living room. There was still a couch and a television, of course, but all of the things that made it home—pictures, banners, trophies—all left with Logan.

Logan was home, and now…

"Stop it."

It was time to grow the fuck up.