Just yet another English project of mine.


Survival Haikus: A Poetic Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

We have a problem
Look, the zombies are approaching
How do we survive?

We'll need some weapons
Headshots are quite effective
Hand me a shotgun

Take up your chainsaw
And me, my cool katana
Chop off undead heads!

Guard your precious head
Be sure to wear a helmet
No teeth in your brain

We need bigger guns
Strap Gatling guns to your car
Now we're in business

Let's take to the streets
Pummel them all with bullets
Suck on that, zombies!

Don't set them aflame
Flamethrowers are useless, fool!
It just makes them mad

There's just too many
Everyone, to the Cabella's!
We'll hole up in there

Barricade the doors
Make sure they're sealed up tight
Don't want invaders

Ration all the food
We'll be stuck here awhile
Don't squander our snacks!

Oh no, a break-in!
We're all screwed if they bite us
Try not to die, bros!

Sever the brain stem
It's the only way to kill
Use what you can, guys

Don't even get scratched
Scratches spread the evil plague
Avoid at all costs

Tommy's been bitten
If he lives, he'll kill us all
We're sorry, Tommy

I know even though
The zombie apocalypse
Sucks, we'll make it through!

BONUS HAIKU:

Look at that zombie
That zombie has a mustache
Zombie Mario!


Again, I have no explanation for my sheer awesomeness. If you have one, leave it in a review, will you? I would say reviews are my bread and butter, but they aren't; bread and butter are my bread and butter.