There is something

I do not want to tell you

I know I should

But I shouldn't

I value us

I love you

These feelings,

I want to hold onto them until the end of time

This could, shatter them

Are they so delicate?


There is this

One little thing

Well not little

That I should tell you

But I can't

I don't want you

To realize

How petty

I am

How greedy

I am

How arrogant

How self centered

How grudge-holding

How vile

How slimy

How sociopathic

I want you

To still see me

As the person I want to be

For you

This one thing

Will peel that away

I want to be good

I want to be trustworthy

I want to be properly loving

I want to be sweet

I want to be selfless

I want to be humble


I am none of those things

I want to be them

So I can be the perfect girl

For you

Because you deserve it

But the greed in me

Tells me not to reveal

This one something

So that

You will continue

To see the person I want to be

Instead of me

But I will tell you

In the end I am honest

If you leave me

I do not blame you

I blame myself

For I decived you

I will tell you

And in advance

Good bye

I do love you

So much

But I cannot

Be someone I want to be


So I will tell you