This is a commemorative speech I wrote for my Art of Public Speaking Class. For those of you who are informed on Roman mythology, I'm HIGHLY aware that this is inaccurate. It wasn't supposed to follow the lines of mythology. It was merely written and presented to be silly, and to have a bit of entertainment in an otherwise dull class.
I hope it amuses you. Please, enjoy! :)
Hello. I would like to thank you all for coming here today. We're here to honor a very special being. A being who was wrongfully cast aside merely for the way he looked. After all, he was a tiny little thing. And apparently, he was too tiny to be considered worthwhile. Well, I say that's wrong. I say that he is worthwhile. And that's why we're here today. We're here to pay our respects to Pluto.
As you recall, Pluto was deemed too small to be considered the ninth planet in our solar system. But who are we to judge a planet by its size? Who are we to say what is too big, or what is too small, to make a celestial mass ineligible to be a planet?
Pluto may have been small in size, but he was big in heart. After all, he didn't have the easiest life. He was a tiny little thing in a neighborhood of larger planets. He didn't have the best relationship with the other planets. At one point, he was engaged to Saturn. But they didn't cross paths very often, so Saturn broke it off and kept the ring. Jupiter was the worst. He always considered himself a big shot, constantly putting down the other planets simply because they were smaller than he. As you can imagine, Pluto being the littlest got the brunt of most of Jupiter's jokes and mockery. Neptune and Uranus weren't much better. Neptune was always so cold to him, and Uranus had always been a little backwards.
Pluto thought he might have better luck with the smaller planets. They should know how he felt, right? Well, unfortunately, he had no such luck. Mars was constantly red in the face from anger, forever trying to pick a fight with Pluto. Pluto had always thought Mercury was "totally hott." But Mercury had always been so close to the Sun, and Pluto was such a nice guy that he didn't want to get in the way of their relationship.
The only planets Pluto relatively got along with were Venus and Earth. Venus was so bright, and Earth was always full of life. But Pluto lived so far away from them, they didn't get much interaction.
Pluto was a lonely planet, so distant from all the others. He just needed a little love, and we repay him by telling him that he can't be a planet anymore?
Even through all of his hardships, Pluto refused to change for anyone. He stayed small, and that was okay with him. Pluto taught me that it doesn't matter what size you are, or the grief that others may give you for simply being who you are. It didn't matter if you were too big, too small, too freckly, or just too weird. If you stay true to yourself, there will always be someone out there who appreciates you for being you. Pluto is an inspiration to everyone who has been bullied, mocked, and cast aside for being themselves.
So thank you, Pluto, for teaching us to stick to our guns, for letting us know that it's fine to be who we are, no matter what anyone labels us. Thank you, Pluto.
You'll always be a Planet to me.
Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to review and tell me your thoughts.
P.S. Ceres, we love you, too!