I've tried to explain,
tried to tell.
But they're the words
you know so well.

The words I've said,
the words I'll say.
The words I tell myself
throughout the day.

I'm tired of fighting,
tired of crying.
And, quite frankly,
tired of trying.

These are the words,|
so simple and sad.
These are the words
some consider bad.

I tried so hard,
so hard for you.
You too tried hard,
but there was so little you could do.

There's no easy way to say this,
but know, I'm crying right now.
I'm leaving you, honey.
Please, don't ask how.

I don't want you to know,
I don't want you to see.
I don't want you to watch
as I leave me.

Leave my body here,
here to rest.
I couldn't last any longer.
I guess I failed this test.

I've tried to survive,
I've taken the blows.
You know what I've gone through...
no one else knows.

I've tried to tell you,
tried to stop.
But it's not that easy, Alyssa.
This isn't something I can just... drop.

I don't know how else to tell you,
and I figured you'd read this soon.
But I'm so alone, Alyssa.
I even talk to the moon.

I've tried to tell you,
but you don't listen.
But tonight, at midnight,
my blood shall glisten.

Please don't blame yourself,
you tried your best.
But it was everyone else
who caused the rest.

This was my fault, hon.
I caused this all.
I guess it's all my fault
that I'm about to fall.

I caused the pain,
I deserve to be bruised.
I need the pain,
I need to be abused.

I know you tried,
and I'm sorry I'm leaving this way.
These are the words I tell myself
all night and all day.

I can't do this anymore.
I'm tired of this life.
By doing this,
I'm simply ending my strife.

I'm tired of the lies,
the words that burn at my soul.
Please, Alyssa, don't be sad.
In my death, you had no role.

But tonight, at midnight,
I shall commit suicide.
I'm sorry, Alyssa.
I don't want to have to hide.

Remember I love you,
and you're still not alone.
There are some things I wish,
things like wishing I could have grown.

I won't live to be fourteen.
How sad is that?
Just look at me.
I look like I've been beaten with a baseball bat.

The bruises, the cuts,
the venom dripping off of my glares.
The pain in your eyes
as you silently take my stares.

I love you so much, Alyssa.
I don't mean to go.
I'm so sorry.
That's all you need to know.

This is my note to you,
and I hope you're not mad.
I hope you'll be okay,
and that you're not sad.

I know you've feared this,
and I ask that you don't say a word.
I couldn't bear to know
that all of my secrets have been heard.

Please, Alyssa.
Please don't tell.
I want to be okay again,
and suicide will make me well.

I've tried to explain,
tried to tell.
But they're the words
you know so well.

I. Love. You.