"The secret side of me, I never let you see. I keep it caged but I can't control it. So stay away from me, the beast is ugly. I feel the rage and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls. It comes awake and I can't control it. Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head. Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?"
" Janessa! " A voice called, snapping her out of her trance. Janessa looked around and saw the cheerful face of her friend Brianna, her brown hair framing her small, round face.
" Hey. Uh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention." Janessa said, still half-zoned out.
" No prob." Brianna smiled back.
" What did you want?"
" Oh. School is over. Bell rang almost ten minutes ago" Brianna said, " I wasn't going to leave you alone. But we have to walk; we missed the bus." Janessa nodded, pulling her earbuds out and shutting her iPod off. Grabbing her simple, black backpack she headed towards the main doors of the school. The bitter cold air of Minnesota's winter reminded her how horrible walking home was around this time. She pulled her sweatshirt closer to her and shivered, a cold wind biting at her face. " Brianna, can't we c-call your parents...?" Janessa asked quietly, stuttering.
" Can't. Mom's at work and Dad's drunk as always." Brianna replied bitterly, the words ' dad ' and ' drunk ' were pronounced with a sharp, alarming tone to her voice.
" Oh. Mind if I play some music?"
" Nah, knock yourself out. "
Janessa quickly put in her earbuds and put her iPod on shuffle. She smiled at the first song to come on; The Bitch came Back by Theory of a Dead Man. She started humming along when her favorite verse came on;
"The trouble with girls is it's never enough. They love to complain and they never shut up. They like to tell you the way it ought to be. Go on and tell the world but just don't tell me"
Janessa continued to listen to songs when she saw a rather peculiar sight. The snow was stained with red. She gasped, almost screaming. Brianna paid no mind to it and kept walking.
" B-b-brianna! Y-y-you d-don't see t-t-that!" She yelled, almost screaming. Brianna turned to her, puzzled.
" See what?"
" T-the b-blood!" Janessa yelled, pointing at the stream of blood. Brianna looked where she was pointing, confused. She shook her head and looked at Janessa sympathetically.
" Janessa, It's one of your hallucinations." She said as Janessa took a minute to cool down. Janessa has always been schizophrenic, and Brianna was used to helping her with times like this.
" O-o-okay." Janessa said nervously, looking ahead.
" Calm down, you're stuttering." Janessa just nodded her head and kept walking, blasting her music soo loud that Brianna could hear it clearly.
Why don't they just stop?