Heyy Guys! I have my story back and I am going to tell you what my teacher said! She also corrected some of my grammer mistakes, so yeah, I wasn't perfect.
An imaginative use of the change in narrative perspective.
An interesting story and good use of varied punctuation.
Target: Focus on varying the way you start your sentences. Avoid using the same words.
Also, if i makes any sense to you, I got a gold reward and a 6a... That's pretty good BTW.