Heyy Guys! I have my story back and I am going to tell you what my teacher said! She also corrected some of my grammer mistakes, so yeah, I wasn't perfect.

An imaginative use of the change in narrative perspective.

An interesting story and good use of varied punctuation.

Target: Focus on varying the way you start your sentences. Avoid using the same words.

Also, if i makes any sense to you, I got a gold reward and a 6a... That's pretty good BTW.