I don't want help

But I get it

I don't want someone

To take away the knives

But they do

All I want

Is for



With my knives

With my pain

Where I am allowed

To help myself

If I want it

Which I don't

I have been






My whole life

Why does somebody care now?

Why does anybody care at all?

They never did before

They looked the other way

They didn't notice

The fake, cracked smile I gave

The hollow, false laugh

They never recognised

Or simply ignored

When I cried out for help

When I could be helped

I am too far in now

Too deep

In my mind

In my darkness

The light in me snuffed out

The knife

Too deep

In my arm

To be pulled out now

Unless you want to kill me

Which will happen eventually anyway

If they would just stop caring

And leave me alone

With my bloody darkness

I would be as close to happy as ever I could be

It is too late to care

Too late to help

Do you understand that?

Leave me alone

Help me